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With an increasing population communicating via the internet and text message, face to face communication will become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree? v.1

With an increasing population communicating via the internet and text message, face to face communication will become a thing of the past. v. 1
The debate whether children benefit from going to the nursery school or is it better for them to stay at home before they join primary school, has become a matter of discussion for many. In my opinion, attending nursery school could prove to be more beneficial for the kids. In this essay, I shall examine both points of view and outline the reasons for my selection. To start with, there are numerous predominant factors, which suggests that the children could greatly benefit from nursery school. Firstly, not every parent is capable of effectively teaching their kids good behaviour. In such cases, it is important that parents should send their kids to nursery schools, in order to learn under the professional guidance. Secondly, apart from studies, these schools provide various sports activities that are very healthy for the proper development of children. On the other hand, home tutoring allow children to learn and grow at their own pace, as they are not subjected to any pressure. In addition, it is scientifically proven that humans are very sensitive and prone to developing lifelong bad habits especially at a young age. This provides another reason for the parents to avoid nursery schools. Furthermore, a recent study published at the Stanford University, showed that 30% of the kids who attended nursery school, ended up getting involved in some type of bad habits. In conclusion, this is a topic which raises many questions in contemporary life. From the given arguments and examples, I am inclined to say that the positive aspects of children enrolling in nursery school by far surpass any other option. In the future, we could expect to see that more parents are turning towards the direction of the schools.
The debate whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
benefit from going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or is it better for them to stay at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, has become a matter of discussion for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. In my opinion, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
could prove to be more beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. In this essay, I shall examine both points of view and outline the reasons for my selection.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are numerous predominant factors, which suggests that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could
greatly
benefit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Firstly
, not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is capable of
effectively
teaching their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. In such cases, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, in order to learn under the professional guidance.
Secondly
, apart from studies, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
provide various sports activities that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
healthy for the proper development of children.

On the other hand
, home tutoring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn and grow at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace, as they are not subjected to any pressure.
In addition
, it is
scientifically
proven that humans are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sensitive and prone to developing lifelong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits
especially
at a young age. This provides another reason for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Furthermore
, a recent study published at the Stanford University,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 30% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
who attended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, ended up getting involved in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits.

In conclusion
, this is a topic which raises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions in contemporary life. From the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
arguments and examples, I
am inclined
to say that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
enrolling in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
by far surpass any other option. In the future, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are turning towards the direction of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay With an increasing population communicating via the internet and text message, face to face communication will become a thing of the past. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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