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Do you agree or disagree with following statement Successful leaders should make others part of the decision making process. v.2

Successful leaders should make others part of the decision making process. v. 2
Even though successful leaders ought to have professional degrees, it is necessary for them to take part in the decision making process. Widespread of people hold the concept that leaders can guide their members to their goal practically by appearing at decision making step, others have a negative attitude toward it. Accordingly, a controversial question which is often raised regarding this idea is whether leaders contribute to decision making part. As far as I am concerned, I am strongly agreed with the first group who believe favored leaders take a significant role in the decision making and I would explicate my chief reasons through the following paragraphs. To commence, the first subtle reason which requires to be mentioned is creating intimate relationship between supervisor and members. To shed more light on the proposed view if leaders participate in the all steps of team working specially the decision making, the members would be happy and satisfied because they have equality in their group. Not only, can members make a cordial connection with their leader, but also it is providing a chance for them to speak directly with their supervisor. This close relationship help team to reach their goals quickly and all of members would attempt due to their leader' s behavior. Another reason comes into consideration is making belonging sense among members. Taking apart of header on the decision making phases would provide an opportunity for members to feel they have an essential role in their team. For example, in my work group our leader has tried to associate in the decision making stages and the majority of our clerks have supported team. In addition, my supervisor' s approach has caused a belonging and loyalty sense in our members, so members always try to perform perfectly. The last but not the least reason why I comply with the subject is that members can express their idea freely. A noteworthy refreshingly intelligible statistics, revealed by a recently conducted social research, indicates more than 80 percent of prominent leaders participated in the decision making parts on purpose of hearing member' s concept and opted the best solutions which were stated. People have respected their leaders since of their method of appearance on decision making processes. To wrap it up, all aforementioned arguments lead us to idea that the prosperous leaders should attend in the decision making steps for germinating a warm atmosphere, creating belonging sense among members and preparing the free discussion. I firmly recommend leaders do not rely on their skills or knowledge without active contribution for reaching their achievement. All reason which are brought above clarify the value of appearance of leaders in the decision making process.
Even though
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
ought to have professional degrees, it is necessary for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
process. Widespread of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the concept that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
can guide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
to their goal
practically
by appearing at
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
step, others have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude toward it.
Accordingly
, a controversial question which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
raised regarding this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
contribute to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
part. As far as I
am concerned
, I am
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with the
first
group who believe favored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
take a significant role in the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
and I would explicate my chief
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
through the following paragraphs.

To commence, the
first
subtle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which requires to
be mentioned
is creating intimate relationship between supervisor and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. To shed more light on the proposed view if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
participate in the all steps of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
working
specially
the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
would be happy and satisfied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have equality in their group. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a cordial connection with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is providing a chance for them to speak
directly
with their supervisor. This close relationship
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
to reach their goals
quickly
and all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
would attempt due to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
leader&
#039; s behavior.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
into consideration is making belonging sense among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. Taking
Wrong collocation. Did you mean "apart from"?
apart of
header on the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
phases would provide an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
to feel they have an essential role in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
.
For example
, in my work group our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
has tried to associate in the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
stages and the majority of our clerks have supported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
.
In addition
, my
Possible spelling mistake found.
supervisor&
#039; s approach has caused a belonging and loyalty sense in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
always try to perform
perfectly
.

The last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why I comply with the subject is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
can express their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
freely
. A noteworthy
refreshingly
intelligible statistics, revealed by a recently conducted social research, indicates more than 80 percent of prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
participated in the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
parts on purpose of hearing
Possible spelling mistake found.
member&
#039; s concept and opted the best solutions which
were stated
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have respected their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
since of their method of appearance on
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
processes.

To wrap it up, all aforementioned arguments lead us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
should attend in the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
steps for germinating a warm atmosphere, creating belonging sense among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and preparing the free discussion. I
firmly
recommend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
do not rely on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or knowledge without active contribution for reaching their achievement. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which
are brought
above clarify the value of appearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
in the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
process.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes

IELTS essay Successful leaders should make others part of the decision making process. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
446 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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