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Do you agree or disagree with this sentence: It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than to learn facts v.1

with this sentence: It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than to learn facts v. 1
As the world needs connections amongst countries, international exchange campaigns for teenagers have been initiated in order to help them with their skills, skills and knowledge. While I recognize several drawbacks of this, I would argue that they are overshadowed by plus points. It is indeed reasonable that international communication is just suitable for students who are good at languages, particularly English, so for those who are completely ignorant about this, language barrier is a big problem which leads to misunderstanding and conflicts. Moreover, culture shock is also noticeable. Even though adolescents prepare for them numerous knowledge about new environments, they still have to face this trouble. For example, a Western student cannot get used to the Indian tradition of eating by hands. Therefore, it is difficult for him to join meals with the natives and make a conversation while he is unwilling to use his hands to eat. I approve, however, of the opinion towards the benefits. First, such opportunities like this help students to broaden their common knowledge from textbooks by witnessing sites, landscapes, festivals and local people in a country. Thus, they will be well-informed about the world. Second, they will also be more sociable, confident and well-adjusted when they have to talk to foreigners, express their feelings and discuss a topic with them. These qualities are useful for them in study and applying for jobs in the future. Finally, it seems to me that youngsters, especially the ones who are addicted to technologies, will have a little chance to overuse modern gadgets because they are often made to impress people, meet deadlines for a project and make friends to avoid culture shock. Also, breathtaking views in a nation that they have not seen before will probably appeal them to discover by going sightseeing rather than through computers or smartphones. Altogether, I still assume that the weaknesses of foreign schooling programs cannot outweigh the upsides since overseas students gain more experience thanks to those.
As the world needs connections amongst countries, international exchange campaigns for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have
been initiated
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge. While I recognize several drawbacks of this, I would argue that they
are overshadowed
by plus points.

It is
indeed
reasonable that international communication is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at languages,
particularly
English,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for those who are completely ignorant about this, language barrier is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem which leads to misunderstanding and conflicts.
Moreover
, culture shock is
also
noticeable.
Even though
adolescents prepare for them numerous knowledge about new environments, they
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face this trouble.
For example
, a Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the Indian tradition of eating by hands.
Therefore
, it is difficult for him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
meals with the natives and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a conversation while he is unwilling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
his hands to eat.

I approve,
however
, of the opinion towards the benefits.
First
, such opportunities like this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to broaden their common knowledge from textbooks by witnessing sites, landscapes, festivals and local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a country.
Thus
, they will be well-informed about the world. Second, they will
also
be more sociable, confident and well-adjusted when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
talk to foreigners, express their feelings and discuss a topic with them. These qualities are useful for them in study and applying for jobs in the future.
Finally
, it seems to me that youngsters,
especially
the ones who
are addicted
to technologies, will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
chance to overuse modern gadgets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
made to impress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
deadlines for a project and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends to avoid culture shock.
Also
, breathtaking views in a nation that they have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
will
probably
appeal them to discover by going sightseeing
rather
than through computers or smartphones.

Altogether, I
still
assume that the weaknesses of foreign schooling programs cannot outweigh the upsides since overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain more experience thanks to those.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay with this sentence: It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than to learn facts v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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