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do you agree or disagree? living beside our extended family is more important in the past than it is today? v.47

living beside our extended family is more important in the past than it is today? v. 47
Many people opine that high schools ought to incorporate certain unpaid public service in their curricula compulsorily. I completely agree with this assertion and I will elaborate reasons below. In the first place, I would argue that these works are beneficial for students as they are able to enhance the cooperative spirit among students. In other words, those youngsters who are working together in this kind of community service have an ample opportunity of understanding each other and exchanging their ideas efficiently. By doing so, they will have a very good chance to broaden their horizons in a sufficient manner. In the future, these kinds of young people will be successful in their future prospects such as promotion in their workplace. In the second place, I believe that such voluntary jobs will benefit everyone concerned as well as society. By doing such kinds of jobs, pupils will be able to gain valuable work experience which is absolutely essential for them to be successful in job hunting. What is more, the certain sections of the population can see definite advantages of these public services. One good illustration of this is that the elderly cannot take care of themselves properly. Therefore, by means of these works, students might feel the strong sense of responsibility for taking an active part in assisting the public as a whole. In conclusion, as the analysed reasons above, I strongly support the idea that public services which are free of charge should be the mandatory proportion of high school curriculum.
Many
people
opine that high schools ought to incorporate certain unpaid
public
service
in their curricula
compulsorily
. I completely
agree
with this assertion and I will elaborate reasons below.

In the
first
place, I would argue that these works are beneficial for students as they are able to enhance the cooperative spirit among students.
In other words
, those youngsters who are working together in this kind of community
service
have an ample opportunity of understanding each other and exchanging their
ideas
efficiently
. By doing
so
, they will have a
very
good
chance to broaden their horizons
in a sufficient manner
. In the future, these kinds of young
people
will be successful in their future prospects such as promotion in their workplace.

In the second place, I believe that such voluntary jobs will benefit everyone concerned
as well
as society. By doing such kinds of jobs, pupils will be able to gain valuable work experience which is
absolutely
essential for them to be successful in job hunting.
What is more
, the certain sections of the population can
see
definite
advantages of these
public
services
. One
good
illustration of this is that the elderly cannot take care of themselves
properly
.
Therefore
, by means of these works, students might feel the strong sense of responsibility for taking an active part in assisting the
public
as a whole.

In conclusion
, as the
analysed
reasons above, I
strongly
support the
idea
that
public
services
which are free of charge should be the mandatory proportion of high school curriculum.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay living beside our extended family is more important in the past than it is today? v. 47

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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