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do you agree or disagree? playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them. v.32

playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them. v. 32
Nowadays, the issues of traffic congestion and pollution have been discussed widely by citizens from all over the world as people suffer from these critical problems. It is suggested that raising the price of petrol is an effective solution to these tricky problems. In this essay, I will showcase my attitude towards this solution and introduce an applicable measure regarding to these issues. From my perspective, charging petrol with a higher price is a doable way to solve the problem, because in terms of financial theories, if the price of something is increased, the consumers tend to look for other substitutes. Therefore, in this case, if the price of petrol is higher, a part of the drivers might turn to public transportation and some drivers might consider about other types of fuel such as electricity, which is a more eco-friendly and sustainable energy. If more citizens opt for public transportation and more cars are powered by electricity, the issues of traffic and pollution will be relieved. In addition to pricing the petrol higher, other measures can be adopted. For example, the traffic bureau can ameliorate the condition of public transportation. Currently, there are a large number of people who are unwilling to take public transportation because passengers need to wait at the bus stop for too long or the condition on the bus is terrible with no air-conditioning or unclean seats. Therefore, our government can arrange more buses, especially during the rush hours and air-conditioner system can be installed on the bus. In conclusion, there are a variety of solutions to lessen the problems related to traffic jams and pollution. Charging the petrol with higher price and improving the public transportation are two possible ones. Both government and citizens should join effort to solve these problems. Only in the way can the environment become more sustainable and develop in a positive way.
Nowadays, the issues of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion and pollution have
been discussed
widely
by citizens from all over the world as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer from these critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. It
is suggested
that raising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
is an effective solution to these tricky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. In this essay, I will showcase my attitude towards this solution and introduce an applicable measure
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
these issues.

From my perspective, charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
with a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
is a doable way to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in terms of financial theories, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of something
is increased
, the consumers tend to look for other substitutes.
Therefore
,
in this case
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
is higher, a part of the drivers might turn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drivers might
Did you mean simply "consider other"? You do not need the word "about" here.
consider about other
types of fuel such as electricity, which is a more eco-friendly and sustainable energy. If more citizens opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and more cars
are powered
by electricity, the issues of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and pollution will
be relieved
.

In addition
to pricing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
higher, other measures can
be adopted
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
bureau can ameliorate the condition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
Currently
, there are
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are unwilling to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
passengers need to wait at the bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
for too long or the condition on the bus is terrible with no air-conditioning or unclean seats.
Therefore
, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can arrange more buses,
especially
during the rush hours and air-conditioner system can
be installed
on the bus.

In conclusion
, there are a variety of solutions to lessen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams and pollution. Charging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
with higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
and improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
are two possible ones. Both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and citizens should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
effort to solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
in the way can the environment become more sustainable and develop in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them. v. 32

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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