Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In recent years, many small shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this positive or a negative statement? v.2

In recent years, many small shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this positive or a negative statement? v. 2
Over the last few years, people prefer buying goods from large shopping malls which resulted in the closure of small local businesses. In my opinion, this is a positive development because it is more convenient and the prices are more affordable. The first reason why it is beneficial is the convenience it could offer to the customers. This is because of large shopping malls consist of different stores internationally and locally owned, which provide a wide variety of items where buyers can choose from. They can buy everything in one roof and as a result, they do not need to travel from one shop to another. Furthermore, by doing shopping in this type of establishment it helps people to save time and effort. For example, The Mall of Asia in the Philippines has been considered the most visited shopping centre because it has 200 stores as well as different facilities. Another reason why people are encouraged to shop in a huge shopping complex is the prices of commodities they can purchase inside it. This is to say that goods being ordered from the suppliers are delivered by bulk. For this reason, the sellers can save some amount and this is passed on to the customers by selling their products at cheaper prices compared outside the malls. For instance, a recent study found that produce in SM hypermarket in our country is on average 20% cheaper than local shops. In conclusion, people are attracted to buy the things they need in large shopping establishments because it is more comfortable and the prices are cheaper.
Over the last few years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
which resulted in the closure of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
local businesses. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is more convenient and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
are more affordable.

The
first
reason why it is beneficial is the convenience it could offer to the customers. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
consist of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stores
internationally
and
locally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
, which provide a wide variety of items where buyers can choose from. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
everything in one roof and
as a result
, they do not need to travel from one shop to another.
Furthermore
, by doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in this type of establishment it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save time and effort.
For example
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mall
of Asia in the Philippines has
been considered
the most visited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has 200 stores
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
facilities.

Another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are encouraged
to shop in a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
complex is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of commodities they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
inside it. This is to say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
being ordered
from the suppliers
are delivered
by bulk.
For this reason
, the sellers can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount and this
is passed
on to the customers by selling their products at cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
compared outside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
.
For instance
, a recent study found that produce in SM hypermarket in our country is on average 20% cheaper than local shops.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are attracted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the things they need in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
establishments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is more comfortable and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
are cheaper.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, many small shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this positive or a negative statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts