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Do you agree or disagree? to improve the quality of education, the universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors. v.133

to improve the quality of education, the universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors. v. 133
The question is whether to improve the quality of education, the universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors or not. With consideration to cons and pros from different viewpoints, my vantage point toward this idea is not positive. I ponder that there are other notable aspects for optimizing education in colleges. My arguments and reasons are listed below that will strengthen my point of view: To begin with, it is axiomatic that the professors play a crucial role in students' learning; however I am inclined to watch this issue from another dimension. As we all know, nowadays there are a lot of worthwhile resources which are available such as internet, smart phones and satellite and so on. It is may seems a bit of ambitiously, but whether we want or not, all of these resources can replace with the professors. The professor' s knowledge is obtained through those same materials which we access them easily; hence spending more money for the professors is not a logic approach. Two second reason why I refute this point of view, lies in the fact that the universities can cost on the libraries- with providing a large number of computers, renewing the tables and seats, buying the newest published books and etc- or the laboratories- with investing on the equipped tools- or the sport salons and even campus coffee-houses. To elucidate, take the students who use all of these facilitates. It is obvious that they will eager to attend in the universities more than before instead of sitting down in the ordinary classes and listening to the professors with mediocre knowledge. Having discussed this issue from this point of view, I am going to empower it by the following the discussion. When the university rises up the professors' income, this salient question can create that they will try to broaden their knowledge base? It goes without saying that their information will remind in a steady level. It is an undeniable fact that when the professors do not feel any pressure on themselves, they are never forced to improve their performance. By taking all above- mentioned arguments into the consideration, the following conclusion could be drawn about this issue. The universities need to other essential changes. The quality of education depends on other vital factors as ameliorating the students' spirit or the quality of the education tools, subsequently in existence of these points, it is no worth costing more money for the professors.
The question is whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should spend more money on salaries for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
or not. With consideration to cons and pros from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
viewpoints, my vantage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
toward this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. I ponder that there are other notable aspects for optimizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in colleges. My arguments and reasons
are listed
below that will strengthen my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is axiomatic that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
play a crucial role in
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; learning;
however
I
am inclined
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
this issue from another dimension. As we all know, nowadays there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
worthwhile resources which are available such as internet, smart phones and satellite and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. It is may seems a bit of
ambitiously
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
whether we want or not, all of these resources can replace with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
professor&
#039; s knowledge
is obtained
through those same materials which we access them
easily
;
hence
spending more money for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
is not a logic approach.

Two second reason why I refute this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view, lies in the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can cost on the libraries- with providing
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
computers, renewing the tables and seats, buying the newest published books
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
- or the laboratories- with investing on the equipped tools- or the sport salons and even campus coffee-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. To elucidate, take the students who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
all of these facilitates. It is obvious that they
The word 'eager' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will eager
to attend in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
instead
of sitting down in the ordinary classes and listening to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
with mediocre knowledge.

Having discussed this issue from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view, I am going to empower it by the following the discussion. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
rises up the
Possible spelling mistake found.
professors&
#039; income, this salient question can create that they will try to broaden their knowledge base? It goes without saying that their information will remind in a steady level. It is an undeniable fact that when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
do not feel any pressure on themselves, they are never forced to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their performance.

By taking all above- mentioned arguments into the consideration, the following conclusion could
be drawn
about this issue. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
need to other essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. The quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
depends on other vital factors as ameliorating the
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; spirit or the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
tools,
subsequently
in existence of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
, it is no worth costing more money for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay to improve the quality of education, the universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors. v. 133

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
411 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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