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Do you agree or disagree? For students who are planning to work in business, learning about psychology is more important than learning about technology. v.119

For students who are planning to work in business, learning about psychology is more important than learning about technology. v. 119
In my view, students planning to work in business should give more importance to learning technology than learning psychology. Businessmen have to deal with a lot of people. So knowing how people react or what they want will always be beneficial to the business. In the present world, technology controls all these aspects of businesses. Technology also helps in the growth and expansion of the business. In today' s world, it is important for students to know technology before they venture into any business. This will help them in understanding the needs and trends of the current generation. Also it will help them in improving their business and become successful. For example, a person who knows technology will definitely launch an online website of his business along with the real business. Nowadays, more and more people are shopping via online and hence having an online website will definitely be helpful to his business and will also help him in doing better business and thereby being successful. Furthermore, technology will help the businessmen in knowing customer feedback of their product. These customer feedback can be used to bring changes or improvements in their current product and make their product a better one. For instance, today, feedback of each and every product will be posted on social media and most of the people read these reviews about the product before buying it. If the business man know how to use technology, that is, how to use these social media to know about the customer feedback, he can definitely bring changes to the product based on these reviews, even though he doesn' t know psychology. Hence, it is quintessential to know technology in the present world. In conclusion, in the last generation, psychology might have been an important aspect of business. However, presently, technology is the key factor. Technology is essential not just for day-to-day activities, but also to achieve growth and being successful in a business.
In my view, students planning to work in
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business
should give more importance to learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
than learning psychology. Businessmen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
knowing how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
react or what they want will always be beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. In the present world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
controls all these aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in the growth and expansion of the business.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s world, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for students to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they venture into any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. This will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in understanding the needs and trends of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in improving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and become successful.
For example
, a person who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will definitely launch an online website of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
along with the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are shopping via online and
hence
having an online website will definitely be helpful to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and will
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
him in doing better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and thereby being successful.

Furthermore
,
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technology
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the businessmen in knowing customer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feedback
of their
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product
.
Did you mean "this customer" or "These customers"?
These customer
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feedback
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
or improvements in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
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product
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
a better one.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feedback
of each and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
will
be posted
on social media and most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
read these reviews about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying it. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
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know
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
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technology
,
that is
, how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these social media to
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know
about the customer
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feedback
, he can definitely bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the
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product
based on these reviews,
even though
he
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t
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know
psychology.
Hence
, it is quintessential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the present world.

In conclusion
, in the last generation, psychology might have been an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
However
,
presently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is the key factor.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is essential not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for day-to-day activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to achieve growth and being successful in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay For students who are planning to work in business, learning about psychology is more important than learning about technology. v. 119

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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