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do you agree or disagree? the ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make new friends easily. v.115

the ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make new friends easily. v. 115
The question is whether the ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make new friends easily or not. Everyone in consideration to cons and pros of this issue can maintain a specific direction toward this question; however I am willing to refute it. In my perspective, making new friends in different situations is able to bring a lot of advantages and this can lead us toward pleasure. My arguments and reasons are listed below which will strengthen my point of view: To begin with; it is axiomatic that old friends play a crucial role in our life, because we have spent a long time with them during years and there is a strong connection between us; however it is an undeniable fact that such old friends will not be able to provide fresh and new experiences for us. The world has been changing and people need to keep up with it; consequently getting familiar with other persons will give a chance to us for obtaining worthwhile experiences which help us to have a satisfied feeling about ourselves. Such a great feeling is the most important factor of being happy. The second reason why I disagree with this statement lies the fact that new relationships will cause people to try for various types of excitements and entertainments. For instance, last year I could get familiar with someone who had a special personality. One day she decided to travel to Roma. In an effort, she could convince me to accompany her in this trip. My old friends were not inclined to visit the ancient cities, in fact their preference was modern cities; subsequently this was a big opportunity for me. After visiting Roma, I made a decision to study in archaeology field for master degree and needless to say that my new friend' s idea pushed me toward a huge prosperity. Moreover, the old friends have been selected based on their honesty, loyalty and kindness; hence having more such friends has worth to take risk and make new friends. If we are enough mature, so it will not be hard to choose right person. As I have illustrated, I strongly believe that knowing more people is kind of challenge to do risk and one should not forget that taking risk is related with excitement and it goes without saying that having excitement in the life can make us away from lethargy and numb feeling.
The question is whether the ability to maintain friendships with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over a long period of time is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for happiness than the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
easily
or not. Everyone in consideration to cons and pros of this issue can maintain a specific direction toward this question;
however
I am willing to refute it. In my perspective, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations is able to bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages and this can lead us toward pleasure.

My arguments and reasons
are listed
below which will strengthen my point of view:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with; it is axiomatic that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
play a crucial role in our life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we have spent a long time with them during years and there is a strong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
us;
however
it is an undeniable fact that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
will not be able to provide fresh and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiences for us. The world has been changing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with it;
consequently
getting familiar with other persons will give a chance to us for obtaining worthwhile experiences which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to have a satisfied feeling about ourselves. Such a great feeling is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor of being happy.

The second reason why I disagree with this statement lies the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
relationships will cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to try for various types of excitements and entertainments.
For instance
, last year I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with someone who had a special personality. One day she decided to travel to Roma. In an effort, she could convince me to accompany her in this trip. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
were not inclined to visit the ancient cities, in fact their preference was modern cities;
subsequently
this was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
opportunity for me. After visiting Roma, I made a decision to study in archaeology field for master degree and needless to say that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
friend&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
pushed me toward a huge prosperity.

Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
have
been selected
based on their honesty, loyalty and kindness;
hence
having more such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
has worth to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. If we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
mature,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to choose right person.

As I have illustrated, I
strongly
believe that knowing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
kind of challenge to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and one should not forget that taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
is related
with excitement and it goes without saying that having excitement in the life can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us away from lethargy and numb feeling.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay the ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make new friends easily. v. 115

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
420 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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