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Do u think it is better for students to work before university nd why?

Do u think it is better for students to work before university nd why? mpEA
It is quite common in foreign countries for a student to work for a year prior to university. Now this trend has started in India too. i believe that it is beneficial for students and reasons of my assertion will explained in the upcoming paragraphs in a more specified way. Firstly, this decision not only make a pupil independent but also responsible. In other words, learners open their mind to having responsibility at work, managing finances and learn new things at work place. For example, in Canada, students learn how to work. How they can manage their time, responsibility with budget and cooking prior to university. Secondly, this plan also help them to fresh their mind. This is because some pupil need a longer break between high school and university to make a proper schedule. In school, they struggle with huge curriculum. Resultantly, a year away from learning can help learners recharge their batteries which would be advantageous in their future. Moreover, students can improve their social skills. When students work in companies or other places, they know how to deal with customers or peers. Taking a year off school to university can be extremely rewarding to learners future success. Finally, practical experience is essential to understand what have been learnt in theoretical part. In conclusion, working before entering the university has several merits, which are not only economically viable but also worth in gaining knowledge. Every student should opt working prior to universities.
It is quite common in foreign countries for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a year prior to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
this trend has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in India too.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that it is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and reasons of my assertion will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "explain"
explained
in the upcoming paragraphs in a more specified way.
Firstly
, this decision not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a pupil independent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
responsible.
In other words
, learners open their mind to having responsibility at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, managing finances and learn new things at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place.
For example
, in Canada,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. How they can manage their time, responsibility with budget and cooking prior to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Secondly
, this plan
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to fresh their mind. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pupil need a longer break between high school and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a proper schedule. In school, they struggle with huge curriculum.
Resultantly
, a year away from learning can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
learners recharge their batteries which would be advantageous in their future.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or other places, they know how to deal with customers or peers. Taking a year off school to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can be
extremely
rewarding to learners future success.
Finally
, practical experience is essential to understand what have been
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
in theoretical part.

In conclusion
, working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
has several merits, which are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
economically
viable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
worth in gaining knowledge. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should opt working prior to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
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IELTS essay Do u think it is better for students to work before university nd why?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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