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Do the dangers from the use of chemicals in food production preservation outweigh the advantages? v.2

Do the dangers from the use of chemicals in food production preservation outweigh the advantages? v. 2
Over the last few decades, the technology is playing a considerable role in everyone's life. The technology has made many chemicals, which is used in food manufacture by individuals. Some people claim that it is not harmful for using the chemicals. However, others reckon that it is perilous for the growth of the masses. I believe that it has more disadvantages, which is occupied the advantages. I shall refer advantages and disadvantage behind this phenomenon in the following paragraphs. To begin with, there are certain advantages of using chemicals in meal production. First of all, people know very well about consuming chemicals. With the help of this, individuals grow sharply their plants. For example, even if people want to become wealthy doing many things. But, farmers grow their foodstuff with chemicals. Likewise, they sell in markets for earning the money. As well as, sometimes they experiment with the feed. On the flip side, it influences on the life of human with having perilous diseases. Such as obesity, hard attacks and many more. It is a fact that chemical feed production is a poison. Customers buy vegetables and adequate some diseases. Sometimes they dies. Last not but least, chemical foods always waste. To cite an example, when people brake vegetables and fruits. It impacts on individuals. Sometimes, consumers are not able to sell their items. They have to loss some situations. To sum up, even though chemical meals have both pros and cons, yet it has plethora of demerits, which is outweigh to the advantages of spending chemical on foods.
Over the last few decades, the technology is playing a considerable role in everyone's life. The technology has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in food manufacture by individuals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that it is not harmful for using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
.
However
, others reckon that it is perilous for the growth of the masses. I believe that it has more disadvantages, which
is occupied
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
. I shall refer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantage behind this phenomenon in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
in meal production.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well about consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of this, individuals grow
sharply
their plants.
For example
, even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to become wealthy doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, farmers grow their foodstuff with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
.
Likewise
, they sell in markets for earning the money.
As well
as,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they experiment with the feed.

On the flip side, it influences on the life of human with having perilous diseases. Such as obesity,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
attacks and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. It is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
feed production is a poison. Customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
vegetables and adequate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "die"
dies
. Last not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
foods always waste. To cite an example, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
brake vegetables and fruits. It impacts on individuals.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, consumers are not able to sell their items. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
loss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations.

To sum up,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
meals have both pros and cons,
yet
it has plethora of demerits, which is
Consider using a past participle here: "outweighed".
outweigh
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
on foods.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Do the dangers from the use of chemicals in food production preservation outweigh the advantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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