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Do the benefits of tourism outweigh the drawbacks? v.1

Do the benefits of tourism outweigh the drawbacks? v. 1
Touristry is incontestably one of most profitable industries, churning out a massive revenue to the global economies. Despite being cost-effective, many fierce debates have been opened to discuss its deplorable effects on people’s lives as well as the surrounding environment. Although I partly concur with the tourist industry being lucrative business, it does wreak havoc on regional traditions and the ecosystem. On the one hand, the fact that touristry being economically advantageous is explicable. To begin with, it serves as a major income to the government. Through attractive sites and wondrous souvenirs, travel agents and appealing services can receive money from tourists as they travel to the host country in flocks, thus boosting the economy here. Therefore, it is no overstatement to say that countries that draw mainly tourists’ attention, such as France and the USA have higher living standards. Additionally, tourism offers potential economic opportunities by advertising a country’s culture image worldwide, cuisine in particular. Psychologically speaking, when a tourist relish a local Specialty such as coconut candy, they are predisposed towards whetting others’ appetite, creating a desire for them to enjoy as well. Hence, traders can deploy this craving for exporting tasty products. Last but not least, with the increasing tempo of satisfying customers’ needs, human resources play an integral part in touristry. In other words, thanks to this non-smoking industry, a large number of jobs are provided to everyone which can in turn support them with a sustainable income. Consequently, the unemployment rate would drop significantly. On the other hand, it would be unreasonable to disregard the horrendous corollaries that tourism entails. To commence with, there have been many cases in which tourists have insolent behaviour towards the attractions such as writing on the walls or destroying precious artefacts. What is more, some extreme parties exploit tourism as a means of terrorizing people’s lives. The quintessence of this is the bombing in Giza, Cairo, which struck a tourist bus, taking the lives of three innocent Vietnamese tourists and Egyptian tour guide in December, 2018. These shocking events, let alone heartless, are ruining heavily a country’s image. Besides that, environmental issues are also caused by tourism. There exists the omnipresence of insurmountable of trash, deafening crowds, contaminated air at one’s attraction which all are the harmful effects of too many tourists. All things considered, I am inclined to believe the tourism has the vantage in terms of the economy. However, it still has some dark sides brought into peoples’ lives. The government should implement suitable measures to ameliorate the situations to encourage the prosperity of this industry.
Touristry
is
incontestably
one of most profitable
industries
, churning out a massive revenue to the global economies. Despite
being cost
-effective,
many
fierce debates have
been opened
to discuss its deplorable effects on
people
’s
lives
as well
as the surrounding environment. Although I partly concur with the
tourist
industry
being lucrative business, it does wreak havoc on regional traditions and the ecosystem.

On the one hand, the fact that
touristry
being
economically
advantageous is explicable. To
begin
with, it serves as a major income to the
government
. Through attractive sites and wondrous souvenirs, travel agents and appealing services can receive money from
tourists
as they travel to the host
country
in flocks,
thus
boosting the economy here.
Therefore
, it is no overstatement to say that
countries
that draw
mainly
tourists’
attention, such as France and the USA have higher living standards.
Additionally
,
tourism
offers potential economic opportunities by advertising a
country’s
culture image worldwide, cuisine
in particular
.
Psychologically
speaking, when a
tourist
relish a local Specialty such as coconut candy, they
are predisposed
towards whetting others’ appetite, creating a desire for them to enjoy
as well
.
Hence
, traders can deploy this craving for exporting tasty products. Last
but
not least, with the increasing tempo of satisfying customers’ needs, human resources play an integral part in
touristry
.
In other words
, thanks to this non-smoking
industry
,
a large number of
jobs
are provided
to everyone which can in turn support them with a sustainable income.
Consequently
, the unemployment rate would drop
significantly
.

On the other hand
, it would be unreasonable to disregard the horrendous corollaries that
tourism
entails. To commence with, there have been
many
cases in which
tourists
have insolent
behaviour
towards the attractions such as writing on the walls or destroying precious
artefacts
.
What is more
,
some
extreme parties exploit
tourism
as a means of terrorizing
people
’s
lives
. The quintessence of this is the bombing in Giza, Cairo, which struck a
tourist
bus, taking the
lives
of three innocent Vietnamese
tourists
and Egyptian tour guide in
December, 2018
. These shocking
events
,
let
alone heartless, are ruining
heavily
a
country’s
image.
Besides
that, environmental issues are
also
caused by
tourism
. There exists the omnipresence of insurmountable of trash, deafening crowds, contaminated air at one’s attraction which all are the harmful effects of too
many
tourists.

All things considered, I
am inclined
to believe the
tourism
has the vantage in terms of the economy.
However
, it
still
has
some
dark sides brought into peoples’
lives
. The
government
should implement suitable measures to ameliorate the situations to encourage the prosperity of this
industry
.
21Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Do the benefits of tourism outweigh the drawbacks? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
429 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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