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Do the advantages outweighs the diaadvantages

Do the advantages outweighs the diaadvantages 6p1kW
Question. . in many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages. Answer. . It is commonly believed that in many nations thesedays nowaday, the youth stay away from their settlement to study or work rather than staying with their parents until they are married As far as I concerned, the demerits is more than the merits. There are numerous benefits to this. One of it is that the individual will be independent. In the sense that he or she will learn how to do things like housechores, washing, cooking pay bills themselves. Also, leaving in different environments helps the adolescent to learn new culture and new language. For instance, a Nigerian who travels abroad to learn or work will learn and adapt to their culture and also learn new language to communicate easily. All these are benefits of leaving one environment to other to study. However, there are also downsides of this argument. Firstly, loosing of emotional bond between children and their parents. For instance, a survey carried out in a reputable university in Ghana in 2020, it was revealed among the students that the foreigners were less attached to their parents compared to the indigenes. Also, it increases rate of bad behaviours among the unmarried youth because parents are the first primary agent of socialisation that the youth should live and learn good behaviour, otherwise leaving alone can lead to influence of peer group with bad behaviours and this can deterred them from behaving well. so, with these, the downside(too many repetition of the word downside) of leaving away from parents should not be ignored In conclusion, the downside of leaving somewhere to study or work among the unmarried youth in terms of loosing emotional bond between them and their parents and influence of bad behaviours outweighs the upsides of the arguments.
Question.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries nowadays, young single
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
no longer stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
until
Possible typo: you repeated a word
they they
are married
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
to study or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
somewhere else. Do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this trend has more advantages or disadvantages.

Answer.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


It is
commonly
believed that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations
Possible spelling mistake found.
thesedays
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowaday
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
stay away from their settlement to study or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than staying with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
until they
are married
As far as I concerned, the demerits is more than the merits.

There are numerous benefits to this. One of it is that the individual will be independent. In the sense that he or she will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to do things like
Possible spelling mistake found.
housechores
, washing, cooking pay bills themselves.
Also
, leaving in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
environments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the adolescent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new culture and new language.
For instance
, a Nigerian who travels abroad to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and adapt to their culture and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new language to communicate
easily
. All these are benefits of leaving one environment to other to study.

However
, there are
also
downsides of this argument.
Firstly
, loosing of emotional bond between children and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
For instance
, a survey carried out in a reputable university in Ghana in 2020, it
was revealed
among the students that the foreigners were less attached to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
compared to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
indigenes
.
Also
, it increases rate of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
among the unmarried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
first
primary agent of
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialisation' is British English.
socialisation
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
,
otherwise
leaving alone can lead to influence of peer group with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and this can deterred them from behaving well.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, with these, the downside(too
Possible agreement error. The noun repetition seems to be countable; consider using: "many repetitions".
many repetition
of the word downside) of leaving away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored


In conclusion
, the downside of leaving somewhere to study or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
among the unmarried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
in terms of loosing emotional bond between them and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and influence of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
outweighs the upsides of the arguments.
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IELTS essay Do the advantages outweighs the diaadvantages

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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