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Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages? M3MWe
In this day and age, instead of working for a company or organisation, more and more people decide to start up their own bussiness. Starting up a new bussiness certainly bring advantages, but there are also inevitable disadvantages. The most important advantage of starting up new company is that you will be your own boss. A person who works for their own could do anything they want for their company. For instance, the employees have to answer to the boss for the permission to do something, but the founders needn’t do that, they have the right to decide what to do and what they should not do. Beside that, being an owner might have people have more time to do their own bussiness. If employees have to work 8 hours per day, the self- employment can work whenever they want, they can start to work at 8. 00 AM or 10. 00 AM and finish work early. However, there are undeniable disavantages of self- employment, the most considerable of which is that ssupplier. There are too many things that the employers have to do when they start their own bussiness such as hiring new employees, promoting products. . . and finding a good supplier is not less important. In the market, there are different suppliers and different quality. The employers have to find a suppliers who supply good materials. Unfortunately, if you coperated with a bad suppliers, you would lose money and your customer’s faith. Moreover, cash flow is another negative aspect. In the first days, you would not have too much proit, but there are a lot of tasks you have to deal with, it is quite difficult to the owners to run their bussiness. They also have to pay a lot of bills and fees such as electricity bill, water bill and employees’ salary. . . it’s really difficult for founders to run their bussiness in first years which start up the bussiness. There is no doubt that the issue of start -ups would bring a lot of positive aspects and the downside of it should also be considered.
In this day and age,
instead
of working for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussiness
. Starting up a new
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussiness
certainly
bring advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
inevitable disadvantages.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advantage of starting up new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is that you will be your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
boss. A person who works for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
could do anything they want for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
answer to the boss for the permission to do something,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the founders needn’t do that, they have the right to decide what to do and what they should not do. Beside that, being an owner might have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have more time to do their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussiness
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
8 hours per day, the self- employment can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
whenever they want, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at 8. 00 AM or 10. 00 AM and finish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
early.

However
, there are undeniable
Possible spelling mistake found.
disavantages
of self- employment, the most considerable of which is that
Possible spelling mistake found.
ssupplier
. There are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that the employers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussiness
such as hiring new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, promoting products.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
finding a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supplier
is not less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In the market, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
suppliers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
quality. The employers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a supplier" or simply "suppliers"?
a suppliers
who supply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
materials. Unfortunately, if you
Possible spelling mistake found.
coperated
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "supplier"?
suppliers
, you would lose money and your customer’s faith.
Moreover
, cash flow is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect. In the
first
days, you would not have too much
Possible spelling mistake found.
proit
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
tasks you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with, it is quite difficult to the owners to run their
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussiness
. They
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
bills and fees such as electricity bill, water bill and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees’
salary.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
’s
really
difficult for founders to run their
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussiness
in
first
years which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
up the
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussiness
.

There is no doubt that the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
-ups would bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects and the downside of it should
also
be considered
.
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IELTS essay Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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