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Do the advantage of bureaucracy outweighs the drawbacks?

Do the advantage of bureaucracy outweighs the drawbacks? r8Gwl
MamadjonovSamandar: This essay will first demonstrate two primary advantages of bureaucracy, namely centralized power and how bureaucracy can lead to supervision on the staff, which are outweighs the main disadvantage which is less freedom to make an important decisions in emergency cases. MamadjonovSamandar: The role of authority in countries' life appears to be important. Below, this essay will explain that centralized power is the biggest advantage of this, and the less freedom to act within a bureaucracy is the primary drawback. It is common knowledge that specific roles and duties are dictated by an authority, allowing people to have defined rules for productivity. To be more lucid, these rules allow managers to supervise production with confidence since each action has been defined, resulting in starting line where everyone has the same chance to succeed. For example, German sociologist Max Weber observed that the advantage of bureaucracy was that it was the most technically proficient form of organization, possessing specialized expertise and certainly unity of the power. Despite this advantage, the disadvantage of this phenomenon is that there is less freedom to act or making independent decisions. This is mainly because, rules and laws govern the actions of a worker within the government. To be more explicit, actions are dictated by what the rules or laws want, meaning that if workers step outside of those rules without permission, they may find themselves facing such consequences as job termination or even imprisonment. For instance, sociologist Laurence Peter states that autonomy of employers within a bureaucracy is certain to be less. In conclusion, centralized power of the country is reckoned to be the main advantage of this, and less autonomy to act is the major drawback.
MamadjonovSamandar
:

This essay will
first
demonstrate two primary
advantages
of
bureaucracy
,
namely
centralized power and how
bureaucracy
can lead to supervision on the staff, which are outweighs the main disadvantage which is
less
freedom to
make
an
important
decisions in emergency cases.

MamadjonovSamandar
:

The role of authority in countries' life appears to be
important
. Below, this essay will
explain
that centralized power is the biggest
advantage
of this, and the
less
freedom to act within a
bureaucracy
is the primary drawback.

It is common knowledge that specific roles and duties
are dictated
by an authority, allowing
people
to have defined
rules
for productivity. To be more lucid, these
rules
allow
managers to supervise production with confidence since each action has
been defined
, resulting in starting line where everyone has the same chance to succeed.
For example
, German sociologist Max Weber observed that the
advantage
of
bureaucracy
was that it was the most
technically
proficient form of organization, possessing specialized expertise and
certainly
unity of the power.

Despite this
advantage
, the disadvantage of this phenomenon is that there is
less
freedom to act or making independent decisions. This is
mainly
because
,
rules
and laws govern the actions of a worker within the
government
. To be more explicit, actions
are dictated
by what the
rules
or laws want, meaning that if workers step
outside of
those
rules
without permission, they may find themselves facing such consequences as job termination or even imprisonment.
For instance
, sociologist Laurence Peter states that autonomy of employers within a
bureaucracy
is certain to be less.

In conclusion
, centralized power of the country
is reckoned
to be the main
advantage
of this, and
less
autonomy to act is the major drawback.
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IELTS essay Do the advantage of bureaucracy outweighs the drawbacks?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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