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DO people spent too much time online these day?

DO people spent too much time online these day? al5Bm
Some people spend most of their time on the Internet and social media. This is due to a number of reasons that make a person addicted to the Internet. I strongly agree with this situation that at present there is nothing more addictive than networks. First, the ease of obtaining the requirement from the Internet. This means I am the person when he wants something specific, resort to Google or other programs. For example, if he wants to follow a match or follow any type of series and movies, he uses YouTube or the like. Also, when he wants to join a game with another friend in addition to business people, they cannot do their work without the Internet because through him they send and receive sales and orders. Second, friends resort to chatting with each other. It means that every person, if he wants to communicate with his friend or one of his loved ones, must provide a net for chatting and chatting. For example, if he wants to talk via video, he needs a program called Emo or other programs, as well as you find some people communicate with someone and find more security and credibility on the Internet, so many resort to communication networks. In conclusion, these are most or most of the reasons that make a person addicted to using the internet and social media. I wish first of all for every father and mother not to give or give an opportunity for their children to own the phone under the age of 19 because it may cause them many diseases and problems.
Some
people
spend most of their time on the Internet and social media. This is due to a number of reasons that
make
a
person
addicted to the Internet. I
strongly
agree
with this situation that at present there is nothing more addictive than networks.

First
, the
ease
of obtaining the requirement from the Internet. This means I am the
person
when he
wants
something specific, resort to Google or other programs.
For example
, if he
wants
to follow a match or follow any type of series and movies, he
uses
YouTube or the like.
Also
, when he
wants
to
join
a game with another friend
in addition
to business
people
, they cannot do their work without the Internet
because
through him they
send
and receive sales and orders.

Second, friends resort to chatting with each other. It means that every
person
, if he
wants
to communicate with his friend or one of his
loved
ones,
must
provide a net for chatting and chatting.
For example
, if he
wants
to talk via video, he needs a program called Emo or other programs,
as well
as you find
some
people
communicate with someone and find more security and credibility on the Internet,
so
many resort
to communication networks.

In conclusion
, these are most or most of the reasons that
make
a
person
addicted to using the internet and social media. I wish
first of all
for every father and mother not to give or give an opportunity for their children to
own
the phone under the age of 19
because
it may cause them
many
diseases and problems.
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IELTS essay DO people spent too much time online these day?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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