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do athlethes make good role modle for youngesters?

do athlethes make good role modle for youngesters? YLX6m
Sportsmen are highly influential on youths. Consequently, there are so many debates on whether they can be good idols or not. Although there are a number of people who assume they can’t because of being one-dimensional, this essay strongly believes that players are good examples for juvenile due to the fact that they can be motivated by an athlete’s high determination and winning attitude. Firstly, the influences of sportsmen can teach us good habits. For instance, having a daily routine can lead to a much healthier life. Waking up early, doing a small workout, writing down the day’s to-do list and… Punctuality is another is another thing which can be learnt. Some real life examples indicate the importance of being on-time in one’s career like the time when a woman was disqualified at the Olympics for being two minutes late. In other words, it is good for youngsters to be acknowledged about the importance of somethings and the consequences. Secondly, having an idol such as a sportsperson can teach adolescences to be determined. I maintain learning determination is something necessary. It should be learnt by teens that trying hard is the key to success. However, they should train their minds in a way to accept the fact that they may also fail, but they should never stop having a high ambition and endeavor. Moreover, their will to achieve their goals should never be hindered by any factors. To sum up, I reckon it is essential for kids and also adults to have a role model like an athlete in their lives who provide them with good habits which lead to a better lifestyle.
Sportsmen are
highly
influential on youths.
Consequently
, there are
so
many
debates on whether they can be
good
idols or not. Although there are a number of
people
who assume they can’t
because
of being one-dimensional, this essay
strongly
believes that players are
good
examples for juvenile due to the fact that they can
be motivated
by an athlete’s high determination and winning attitude.

Firstly
, the influences of sportsmen can teach us
good
habits.
For instance
, having a daily routine can lead to a much healthier life. Waking up early, doing a
small
workout, writing down the day’s to-do list and… Punctuality
is another is another
thing which can be
learnt
.
Some
real life examples indicate the importance of being on-time in one’s career like the time when a woman
was disqualified
at the Olympics for being two minutes late.
In other words
, it is
good
for youngsters to
be acknowledged
about the importance of somethings and the consequences.

Secondly
, having an idol such as a sportsperson can teach adolescences to
be determined
. I maintain learning determination is something necessary. It should be
learnt
by teens that trying
hard
is the key to success.
However
, they should train their minds in a way to accept the fact that they may
also
fail,
but
they should never
stop
having a high ambition and endeavor.
Moreover
, their will to achieve their goals should never
be hindered
by any factors.

To sum up, I reckon it is essential for kids and
also
adults to have a role model like an athlete in their
lives
who provide them with
good
habits which lead to a better lifestyle.
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IELTS essay do athlethes make good role modle for youngesters?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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