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djkdfha lzdgpateojg ni idfnhi

djkdfha lzdgpateojg ni idfnhi 30ywm
These days, some four-year students tend to take a gap year to travel or to work prior to registering to a university. It is controversial whether its advantages outweigh the disadvantages. From my perspective, I believe it brings more pros than cons. On the one hand, taking a year off may cause psychological problems because your choice is absolutely different from most of your classmates. It can lead to the feeling of falling behind, inferiority, and nervousness when your peers already knew and followed the field they have a passion for. Besides, the pressure is not only from your peers but also from your parents. They may consider your decision as childish and irresponsible. Therefore, they will criticize you and make you feel worse. Having said that, it brings a lot of benefits. To begin with, spending a period away from the chaotic and competitive life helps you relieve tension. After years of focusing on studying to get high marks, it is necessary to make room for relaxing time. For that reason, traveling can be a cure for your soul and recharge your energy. In addition, along the journey, meeting new people, doing new things can help you discover what makes you want to do with enthusiasm. It results in the right decision when it comes to choosing a major at a university. Moreover, taking a gap year working helps them earn money to pay their bills especially, tuition-fee. It is undeniable that tuition-fee at university is extremely expensive and not everyone is able to afford it. Thus, earning abundant money before getting into a university is a big concern for some students, and finding a job to work for a period can reduce the financial burden for their parents. In conclusion, taking a gap year can cause some problems. However, the benefits it brings are much more than its drawbacks. In my opinion, I think having a year off after finishing high school is a good choice.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
four-year students tend to take a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to travel or to work prior to registering to a university. It is controversial whether its advantages outweigh the disadvantages. From my perspective, I believe it brings more pros than cons.

On the one hand, taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off may cause psychological problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
your choice is
absolutely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from most of your classmates. It can lead to the feeling of falling behind, inferiority, and nervousness when your peers already knew and followed the field they have a passion for.
Besides
, the pressure is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from your peers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
from your parents. They may consider your decision as childish and irresponsible.
Therefore
, they will criticize you and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you feel worse.

Having said that, it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, spending a period away from the chaotic and competitive life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you relieve tension. After years of focusing on studying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high marks, it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
room for relaxing time. For that reason, traveling can be a cure for your soul and recharge your energy.
In addition
, along the journey, meeting new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, doing new things can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you discover what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you want to do with enthusiasm. It results in the right decision when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to choosing a major at a university.

Moreover
, taking a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them earn money to pay their bills
especially
, tuition-fee. It is undeniable that tuition-fee at university is
extremely
expensive and not everyone is able to afford it.
Thus
, earning abundant money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting into a university is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
concern for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students, and finding a job to work for a period can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the financial burden for their parents.

In conclusion
, taking a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems.
However
, the benefits it brings are much more than its drawbacks. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off after finishing high school is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice.
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IELTS essay djkdfha lzdgpateojg ni idfnhi

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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