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dit con me chung may, tao dang mejt oke

dit con me chung may, tao dang mejt oke W5Q6k
The technology advancement has successfully usher in more options are offered to people. While I share my agreement that the availability of options can bring tremendous advantages in terms of food resources or education, I reckon that in underprivileged parts of the world that people are still living under destitute conditions. On the one hand, I contend that individuals are offered with a range of choices in various fields. In the first place, the present ear has provided humans with a vast majority of food selections. Nowadays, supermarkets are packed with numerous brands of milk with many different origins. Therefore, instead of opting for only one exclusive brand, customers can easily purchase their favorite products with very affordable prices. In addition, the current globalization has opened new majors as well as academic environments that can benefit students in the future. For example, students can broaden their knowledge by studying in an exotic nation, hence, they are likely to succeed in their careers. Undoubtedly, choices in life are various thanks to the rapid shift of revolution and economy. On the other hand, people who reside in impoverished nations, especially in Africa, are severely suffering from lack of infrastructure in addition to basic necessities such as food or water resources. To illustrate, people coming from underdeveloped countries are struggling to obtain their daily meals. These people, have no choice but to consume contaminated water and to wait for support from international organizations such as WHO. Moreover, working opportunities are still under restrictions to some parts of the world, thus, many people have become refugees. In conclusion, it is unequivocal that people have access to more options can enjoy the life. However, in my opinion, individuals in the world, irrespective of nations, should be able to make choice, at least with basic necessities.
The technology advancement has
successfully
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "ushered".
usher
in more options
are offered
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While I share my agreement that the availability of options can bring tremendous advantages in terms of food resources or education, I reckon that in underprivileged parts of the world that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
living under destitute conditions.

On the one hand, I contend that individuals
are offered
with a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
in various fields. In the
first
place, the present ear has provided humans with a vast majority of food selections. Nowadays, supermarkets
are packed
with numerous brands of milk with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
origins.
Therefore
,
instead
of opting for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one exclusive brand, customers can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their favorite products with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
affordable prices.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
globalization has opened new majors
as well
as academic environments that can benefit students in the future.
For example
, students can broaden their knowledge by studying in an exotic nation,
hence
, they are likely to succeed in their careers.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
in life are various thanks to the rapid shift of revolution and economy.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who reside in impoverished nations,
especially
in Africa, are
severely
suffering from lack of infrastructure
in addition
to
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
such as food or water resources. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming from underdeveloped countries are struggling to obtain their daily meals. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to consume contaminated water and to wait for support from international organizations such as
Did you mean "whom"?
WHO
.
Moreover
, working opportunities are
still
under restrictions to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the world,
thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become refugees.

In conclusion
, it is unequivocal that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have access to more options can enjoy the life.
However
, in my opinion, individuals in the world, irrespective of nations, should be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
, at least with
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
.
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IELTS essay dit con me chung may, tao dang mejt oke

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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