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What would you like to gift to child

What would you like to gift to child r13g2

WelI i would like to give her a piece of art. Commencing with, a piece of painting will give the children a deeper insight into history and culture. They will gain a good sense of culture and customs and it's usually more interesting compared to the reading. It can't be argued that world needs artists. This is good to be mentioned that this piece of art will help to stimulate children's artistic intelligence while helping them to be mentally and emotionally stable. It should be considered that this kind of art provide them with a break from unnecessary subjects. I want to share my experience

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WelI
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 would like to give her a piece of art.

Commencing with, a piece of painting will give the children a deeper insight into history and culture. They will gain a This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 sense of culture and customs and it's usually
 more interesting compared to the reading. It can't be argued
 that world needs artists. This is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 to be mentioned
 that this piece of art will This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 to stimulate children's artistic intelligence while helping them to be mentally and emotionally
 stable. It should be considered
 that this kind of art provide them with a break from unnecessary subjects. I want to share my Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphexperience.experience!experience?experience:experience,experience;
experience

IELTS essay What would you like to gift to child

Essay

American English

2 paragraphs

104 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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