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Discussion essay with giving your opinion About same people work for the same organization but some for different organizations

Discussion essay with giving your opinion About same people work for the same organization but some for different organizations 75VLX
A group of people serve a specific foundation for their entire work life, while others think it is more preferable to work the variety of organizations. I believe that staying stable in one company is more advantagous for the employee. On the one hand, employees who remain stable and do not move to other places have greater opportunities for getting promoted, what I mean is that, when a person is working for unchangeable organization the chances of gaining credits from the employers and project owners are becoming considerably higher, due to the results of hard work. For instance, one of my old friends works for the same non-governmental school for almost five years, and currently, her educational position is completely different from her first year of teaching, owing to being rewarded and upgraded. Despite feeling more important and valuable in her workplace, she also attained enormous amount of confidence in her career. On the other hand, a significant percentage of people who work in unsimilar companies may not feel relaxed or motivated, due to getting to know new people and personalities or new obligatory working conditions as well as receiving insufficient salary which can be significantly disappointing. Thus, these negative points in changing the workplace could result in dissatisfaction. Let us take my cousin as a real life example, who worked for a company as a Human Resources Manager, and after moving to a new institution, she felt surprised with working hours and overloads, subsequently she left her job and become jobless. In conclusion, although a number of people work in the equivalent firm for their entire work life, however, some do not enjoy that and oppose this idea by modifying their workplace, and this change could not be allowed to happen frequently. .
A group of
people
serve a specific foundation for their entire
work
life, while others
think
it is more preferable to
work
the variety of organizations. I believe that staying stable in one
company
is more
advantagous
for the employee.

On the one hand, employees who remain stable and do not
move
to other places have greater opportunities for getting promoted, what I mean is that, when a person is working for unchangeable organization the chances of gaining credits from the employers and project owners are becoming
considerably
higher, due to the results of
hard
work
.
For instance
, one of my
old
friends works for the same non-governmental school for almost five years, and
currently
, her educational position is completely
different
from her
first
year of teaching, owing to
being rewarded
and upgraded. Despite feeling more
important
and valuable in her workplace, she
also
attained enormous amount of confidence in her career.

On the other hand
, a significant percentage of
people
who
work
in
unsimilar
companies
may not feel relaxed or motivated, due to getting to know new
people
and personalities or new obligatory working conditions
as well
as receiving insufficient salary which can be
significantly
disappointing.
Thus
, these
negative
points in changing the workplace could result in dissatisfaction.
Let
us take my cousin as a real life example, who worked for a
company
as a Human Resources Manager, and after moving to a new institution, she felt surprised with working hours and overloads,
subsequently
she
left
her job and become jobless.

In conclusion
, although a number of
people
work
in the equivalent firm for their entire
work
life,
however
,
some
do not enjoy that and oppose this
idea
by modifying their workplace, and this
change
could not be
allowed
to happen
frequently
.
.
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IELTS essay Discussion essay with giving your opinion About same people work for the same organization but some for different organizations

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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