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Disavantages and asvantages of private education

Disavantages and asvantages of private education dkx96
We can not deny from the truth that, education plays a paramount role in the nation development. There are two types of training around the world one is government education another is private and some people opine that the private school should be banned. Banning private education have many advantages. First is, it can help to solve the social inequality problem. The private education can not afford by everyone, which make the difference between rich and poor. On the other hand, government education makes sure that all children can gain equal knowledge at the lowest cost. However, sometimes it becomes necessary to allow private education. In some underdevelopment countries where the government may not be able to afford the good quality education for their children, but the private learning  can give high-quality education so in that situation private education should be allowed. Furthermore, banning private education sometimes put a negative effect on the country’s development. In my opinion, the government should not ban private education. They can provide education together, but the education system has to set some rules and restrictions, especially on fees so that everyone can gain useful knowledge from any place. In conclusion, both education is essential for a better future, but if the government provide good quality education than there is no need for people to move to the private sector.
We can not deny from the truth that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays a paramount role in the nation development. There are two types of training around the world one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
another is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
school should
be banned
.

Banning private education have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.
First
is, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to solve the social inequality problem. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can not afford by everyone, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the difference between rich and poor.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sure that all children can gain equal knowledge at the lowest cost.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it becomes necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
 underdevelopment countries where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
may not be able to afford the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality education for their children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the private learning
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
can give high-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in that situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
.

Furthermore
, banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
put a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the country’s development. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. They can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
together,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
set
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and restrictions,
especially
on fees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that everyone can gain useful knowledge from any place.

In conclusion
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is essential for a better future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provide 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality education than there is no need for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
sector.
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IELTS essay Disavantages and asvantages of private education

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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