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Discuss which is better: living in a large city or a small community?

Discuss which is better: living in a large city or a small community? LBNn1
I grew up in a small town in the Southwest Viet Nam and then I moved to Ho Chi Minh city that is a big city in my country. Therefore, I have experienced the advantages and disadvantages of both. On the one hand, living in a big city has some advantages. First, in a big city, there are often a large number of popular schools which have not only competent teachers but modern facilities, and therefore students are offered an excellent education. Secondly, in a big city, the population density is high therefore there are always plenty of social activities. There are have many places for people to relax like movie theatres, clubs, and swimming pools. You will have many kinds of entertainment in big cities, and meet many people. On the other hand, I believe living in a small town is also a good choice. First, you will not face to traffic congestion in a small town. Let’s imagine, one day you wake up late and you want to go to school on time. If you live in a big city, you can’t. Because there’s lots of transports like bus, car, motorbike, . . on the streets. Especially, children in a small town could play safely in the street. Secondly, people felt they are part of a social group. Secondly, People knew each other and they can spoke to everyone else, so no one felt lonely. Living in a small town, it’s a simple life, but everyone was happy because there was little crime. As a result, life in rural areas can be healthier. In my view, like a young people, I like living in a big city because I can improve myself by lots of useful activities, I will meet many people from many parts of the country and make friends with them.
I grew up in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
in the Southwest
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam and then I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Ho Chi Minh city
that is
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city in my country.
Therefore
, I have experienced the advantages and disadvantages of both.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages.
First
, in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
popular schools which have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
competent teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
modern facilities, and
therefore
students
are offered
an excellent education.
Secondly
, in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city, the population density is high
therefore
there are always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of social activities. There are
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to relax like movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
, clubs, and swimming pools. You will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of entertainment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
is
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice.
First
, you will not face to traffic congestion in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s imagine, one day you wake up late and you want to go to school on time. If you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city, you can’t.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
there’s lots of transports like bus, car, motorbike
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the streets.
Especially
, children in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
could play
safely
in the street.
Secondly
,
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people
felt they are part of a social group.
Secondly
,
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People
knew each
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
other and
they can
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
spoke
to everyone else,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no one felt lonely.
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Living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
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town
, it’s a simple life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
everyone was happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
crime.
As a result
, life in rural areas can be healthier.

In my view, like a young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
myself by lots of useful activities, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the country and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with them.
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IELTS essay Discuss which is better: living in a large city or a small community?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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