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Discuss the reason why this has occurred and effect it may have on our society

Discuss the reason why this has occurred and effect it may have on our society APpqL
In early age, most of the youngsters do not respect their elders ones. It is noticed that older peoples are not respected in some parts of the country. Installing paragraphs reason and the fact on our society will be reviewed. first and foremost reason, yes cause all the papers don’t work work basically don’t earn money. Therefore cannot Pay for themselves. So, treated bad. It’s observed the children saying that they are burden at them. To epitome, over 60% of the seniors people in our society don’t have their own income of sauce. Moreover on the other hand, There are some negative impact on the situation. Also people who spend their life to make their future generation has better lifestyle and have given so much of their valuable time to society. Instead of thanking them we cannot make them feel disappointed about this hard work for society. For example I am in teachers who have life experience it’s a valuable human resource, cannot make them feel useless. Because they they can still help our younger generation to developEnter and my view point we should give respect to all the ones for our economy development moreover they deserve to post to respect from the kids.
In early age, most of the youngsters do not respect their elders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. It
is noticed
that older peoples are not respected in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the country. Installing paragraphs reason and the fact on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will
be reviewed
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
first
and foremost reason, yes cause all the papers don’t
Possible typo: you repeated a word
work work
basically
don’t earn money.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
cannot Pay for themselves.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, treated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. It’s observed the children saying that they are burden at them. To epitome, over 60% of the seniors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
don’t have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
income of sauce.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
on the other hand
, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the situation.
Also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who spend their life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their future generation has better lifestyle and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much of their valuable time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Instead
of thanking them we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel disappointed about this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. For
The comma is probably missing here: "example, I".
example I
am in teachers who have life experience it’s a valuable human resource, cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel useless.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
Possible typo: you repeated a word
they they
can
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our younger generation to
Possible spelling mistake found.
developEnter
and my view point we should give respect to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
for our economy development
moreover
they deserve to post to respect from the kids.
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IELTS essay Discuss the reason why this has occurred and effect it may have on our society

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
204 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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