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Discuss the merits and demerits of mechanized production.

Discuss the merits and demerits of mechanized production. Lrb2n
Since the industry revolution, production of finished commodities has reached to a large scale, moreover introduction of conveyer belts and artificial intelligence have changed the way products have been created. Firstly, in this essay we shall understand the benefits of industrialised products and secondly, the shortcomings of these products. Modern day factories have adapted to ever changing technology due to which they have been able to scale the production as well as not compromise on the quality. This evolution is a boon to the labour class as their work is immensely reduced as result of this there is decrease in pain and strain on human muscles. Moreover, markets today demands goods at huge scale thus making them just with humans would not be possible. Quality of products reached new heights as artificial intelligence (robots) have achieved precision in all most every individual product thus consumers are more satisfied than ever. For instances, Japan is regarded as the pioneers in electronics as most of the television technology and innovations have been contributed by Japanese, adding to this world market is dominated by them as they create nearly 40 percent of the television today. They could accomplish these great feet by automating technology. Hence, we can comprehend that machine have transformed product market in the recent past. Although, machinery have achieved mass production with exactitude there is demand for hand made products in the market. as Morden day buyers are more environment conscious than before, handmade production companies have more ethical attitude towards environment, thus younger consumers are more inclined to these products. Another major issue in mechanised companies are they utilize heavy machinery consequently leading to more accidents and employee life is always under threat. Industry related deaths have risen sharply in the past 20 years. To conclude, advent of technology has transformed every aspect of product making although one might argue that it generates more toxins and the worker’s life is always in danger but I must say the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
Since the industry revolution,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of finished commodities has reached to a large scale,
moreover
introduction of
Possible spelling mistake found.
conveyer
belts and artificial intelligence have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have
been created
.
Firstly
, in this essay we shall understand the benefits of
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialised' is British English.
industrialised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
secondly
, the shortcomings of these products.

Modern day factories have adapted to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
due to which they have been able to scale the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
as well
as not compromise on the quality. This evolution is a boon to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
as their work is
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
as result of this there is decrease in pain and strain on human muscles.
Moreover
, markets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
demands
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
at huge scale
thus
making them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
with humans would not be possible. Quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
reached new heights as artificial intelligence (robots) have achieved precision in all
The phrase 'most every' is colloquial. In formal/ written English you should avoid it. Use "almost every" instead!
most every
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
thus
consumers are more satisfied than ever. For instances, Japan
is regarded
as the pioneers in electronics as most of the television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and innovations have
been contributed
by Japanese, adding to this world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
is dominated
by them as they create
nearly
40 percent of the television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. They could accomplish these great feet by automating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Hence
, we can comprehend
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "that machine has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that machine have
transformed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
in the recent past.

Although, machinery have achieved mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
with exactitude there is demand for hand made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morden
day buyers are more environment conscious than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, handmade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have more ethical attitude towards environment,
thus
younger consumers are more inclined to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Another major issue in
Possible spelling mistake. 'mechanised' is British English.
mechanised
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are they utilize heavy machinery
consequently
leading to more accidents and employee life is always under threat. Industry related deaths have risen
sharply
in the past 20 years.

To conclude
, advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has transformed every aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
making although one might argue that it generates more toxins and the worker’s life is always in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

IELTS essay Discuss the merits and demerits of mechanized production.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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