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You are to deliver a Eulogy for a character in the text, Jasper Jones, at a private memorial you and your friends, in character, have organised. The narrative you create in this Eulogy will reveal new insights into the character, their time, place and community. The theme “Belonging”, should frame the narrative as you explore some of the dominant ideologies of the 1960s as exemplified through the life of this character.

You are to deliver a Eulogy for a character in the text, Jasper Jones, at a private memorial you and your friends, in character, have organised. The narrative you create in this Eulogy will reveal new insights into the character, their time, place and community. The theme “Belonging”, should frame the narrative as you explore some of the dominant ideologies of the 1960s as exemplified through the life of this character. BJwr6
If I were to be asked just a few days ago, ‘what is a difficult task? ’ I surely wouldn’t know the answer, but right now as I stand here to eulogise my sister, I understand very well what a difficult task is. Thank you both Jasper and Charlie for joining me here under this tree where Laura took her life, in order to honour her life and death. Laura was born was born in 1951 and died in December of 1965. She was known for her impartial personality, her caring and protective instinct; she was very thoughtful and kind. She will always be a sister anyone would wish for. This fateful tragedy has not only taken a sister from me, but it has also robbed Jasper a lover and a best friend and the world has lost a loving caring being. Unfortunately, no one can change one’s fate, and today no matter how I wish I could turn back in time and prevent this from happening. It breaks my heart that I have to be the one to eulogise her when I know very well that she deserved a very long life. However it’s not by our desire that we gather here today to say goodbye to Laura but by our need to do so. Laura faced the most monstrous, brutal, inhuman act of all that led to her tragic death. She was sexually abused by our so called father. It is said that family… family is a safe haven, family is where you belong and that family are people who see through you but what kind of family did you belong to Laura. A father who dirtied, you and robbed you your innocence and the will to live. A mother who did not believe you and instead defended her husband saying he is not such a guy. A sister who did not see the hurt and pain behind your smile and did not see that this so called family was a hell you wanted to escape from. Am ashamed that I am part of that family. Sisters are supposed to function as a safety net in a chaotic world by simply being there for each other. Am sorry I was not even aware of the fact that your world was full of chaos and you had to fight all by yourself until you were exhausted and tired and could not fight anymore. Am sorry that you had to put up with all the abused and bruises so that I could not go through what you went through. Am sorry that I was never your safety net while you were always mine. On that momentous night before my dear sister took her life, she gathered all the courage she had and told our mother about what has been happening to her, but instead of a hug and comforting words, she got a harsh reply that she is just a teenager seeking for attention. If only I knew that it was the last string of hope, she was holding on I would have given her that hug I would have said all the unsaid words rather than hide behind my fears. When she runs out, I followed her from a distance and when she arrived under this tree and cried her eyes out, I could feel every ounce of her pain, but I did not know what to do. I felt so powerless when I saw her pull out a rope and tying it around her neck and I watched her hung herself. Sister am sorry that I could not bring myself to save you, I let fear take over and I ended up losing the most precious thing. Am sorry jasper that I could not save her and now you too have lost something special. I know that if you were here that night, then Laura could have been alive. I also thank you for being there for her, am sure even when she was fighting her demons your presence comforted her and in you, she found a home where she belonged. Do not blame yourself for her not being there that night. Am sure Laura knows that you did not leave nor forsaken her You absence has left an empty space in our hearts but I know that even though you are not here physically you are always there. Your memories will live in us forever and you will never be forgotten I will tell my future kids of their brave and protective aunt and I will find you justice. I will make sure that monster face his judgment for his wrong doing. I will not let you be that girl who committed suicide for attention but I will let the world know what you went through. I will tell my kids in future of there protective aunt who protected her sister,
If I were to
be asked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few days ago, ‘what is a difficult task? ’ I
surely
wouldn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the answer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
as I stand here to
Possible spelling mistake. 'eulogise' is British English.
eulogise
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
, I understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well what a difficult task is. Thank you both Jasper and Charlie for joining me here under this tree where Laura took her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, in order to
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and death. Laura
was born
was born
in 1951 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
in
When specifying a month and year, 'of' is unnecessary: "December 1965".
December of 1965
. She
was known
for her impartial personality, her caring and protective instinct; she was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
thoughtful and kind. She will always be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
anyone would wish for. This fateful tragedy has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
taken a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
from me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has
also
robbed Jasper a lover and
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best friend and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has lost a loving caring being. Unfortunately, no one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
one’s fate, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
no matter how I wish I could turn back in time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this from happening. It breaks my heart that I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be the one to
Possible spelling mistake. 'eulogise' is British English.
eulogise
her when I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well that she deserved a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it’s not by our desire that we gather here
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
to say goodbye to Laura
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by our need to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

Laura faced the most monstrous, brutal, inhuman act of all that led to her tragic death. She was
sexually
abused by our
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
so called
father. It
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family…
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is a safe haven,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is where you belong and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
did you belong to Laura. A father
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
dirtied, you and robbed you your innocence and the will to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. A mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did not believe you and
instead
defended her husband saying he is not such a guy.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the hurt and pain behind your smile and did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that this
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
so called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
was a hell you wanted to escape from.
Am ashamed
that I am part of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sisters
are supposed
to function as a safety net in a chaotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
by
simply
being there for each other. Am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sorry
I was not even aware of the fact that your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
was full of chaos and you had to fight all by yourself until you
were exhausted
and tired and could not fight anymore. Am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sorry
that you had to put up with all the abused and bruises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I could not go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
what you went
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sorry
that I was never your safety net while you were always mine.

On that momentous night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
my dear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
took her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, she gathered all the courage she had and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
our mother about what has been happening to her,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
of a hug and comforting words, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a harsh reply that she is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
seeking for attention. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
I knew that it was the last string of hope, she was holding on I would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
her that hug I would have said all the unsaid words
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
behind my fears. When she runs out, I followed her from a distance and when she arrived under this tree and cried her eyes out, I could feel every ounce of her pain,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what to do. I felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
powerless when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
her pull out a rope and tying it around her neck and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
her hung herself.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sister
am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sorry
that I could not bring myself to save you, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
fear take over and I ended up losing the most precious thing. Am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sorry
jasper that I could not save her and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
you
Did you mean "to"?
too
have lost something special. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that if you were here that night, then Laura could have been alive. I
also
thank you for being there for her, am sure even when she was fighting her demons your presence comforted her and in you, she found a home where she belonged. Do not blame yourself for her not being there that night. Am sure Laura
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knows
that you did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
nor forsaken
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
her


Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'You'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
You absence
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
an empty space in our hearts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that
even though
you are not here
physically
you are always there. Your memories will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in us forever and you will never
be forgotten
I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
my future kids of their brave and protective aunt and I will find you justice. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that monster face his judgment for his
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
doing. I will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you be that girl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
committed suicide for attention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what you went
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
my kids in future of
Did you mean "their"?
there
protective aunt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
protected her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
,
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IELTS essay You are to deliver a Eulogy for a character in the text, Jasper Jones, at a private memorial you and your friends, in character, have organised. The narrative you create in this Eulogy will reveal new insights into the character, their time, place and community. The theme “Belonging”, should frame the narrative as you explore some of the dominant ideologies of the 1960s as exemplified through the life of this character.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
814 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You are to deliver a Eulogy for a character in the text, Jasper Jones, at a private memorial you and your friends, in character, have organised. The narrative you create in this Eulogy will reveal new insights into the character, their time, place and community. The theme “Belonging”, should frame the narrative as you explore some of the dominant ideologies of the 1960s as exemplified through the life of this character.