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Discuss the causes and some effects of wide spread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make suggestions for help

Discuss the causes and some effects of wide spread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make suggestions for help 0MJe1
Drugs are harmful to health. Nowadays the drug usage increases at dangerous rate. Even youngsters now use drugs widely. Some sociologists belive that this is a result of bad parental and social influence. This essay will discuss the causes of this condition, it's effects and also some suggestions to resolve this problem. Firstly, the teenagers always curious about new things so that they experiment how it works. Nowadays there are lot of pressure during study, work and in day to day life. First time for come out from these problems youngsters use drugs. After that they cannot stop the usage of drugs and they become addicted to drugs. For resolving this situation, the study or work pressure should be reduce. The leisure times will helps to this. Family get-togethers and trips will helps to lower the pressure and give happiness. Another reason for the wide usage of drugs among youngsters is the availability. The drugs business network is very large today. Therefore it is easily available to youth. Even in colleges students get harmful drugs in an easy way today. Due to the drug addicted college mates you may be forced to use drugs even if you don't like to use it. Owing to this situation more youngsters will be use drugs. The only solution for this problem is that the availability of drugs must reduce and make sure strict laws and punishments for drug abuse. In conclusion there are causes for drug usage but also more dangerous impacts. Drugs which are very harmful to our health and life. It should be our responsibility to stop this wide spread abuse of drugs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drugs
are harmful to health. Nowadays the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
increases at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
rate. Even youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
widely
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
sociologists
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that this is a result of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
parental and social influence. This essay will discuss the causes of this condition, it's effects and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestions to resolve this problem.

Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
always curious about new things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they experiment how it works. Nowadays there are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
pressure during study, work and in day to day life.
First
time for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out from these problems youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
. After that they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
drugs and
they become addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
. For resolving this situation, the study or work pressure should be
Consider using the past participle "reduced"?
reduce
. The leisure times will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to this. Family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
-togethers and trips will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to lower the pressure and give happiness.

Another reason for the wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
among youngsters is the availability. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
business network is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it is
easily
available to youth. Even in colleges students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
Consider replacing "in an easy way" with the adverb for "easy"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an easy way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addicted college mates you may
be forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
even if you don't like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it. Owing to this situation more youngsters will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution for this problem is that the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure strict laws and punishments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
abuse.

In conclusion
there are causes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
impacts.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drugs
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful to our health and life. It should be our responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this wide spread abuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
.
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IELTS essay Discuss the causes and some effects of wide spread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make suggestions for help

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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