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Describe what you accomplished in your life

Describe what you accomplished in your life Qw3ew
In each of us, everyone will have a goal to pursue and achieve it, and everyone will have their own achievement. Achievements for many people will be getting a promotion at work, getting an advanced degree, buying a house, buying a car, etc. For me personally, if I talk about achievement, it's too high for me, I just feel enough proud when I achieve my goals, because I am still young and still have many opportunities ahead. If I talk about my achievements that people can see with their eyes, I think they are certificates of completion of elementary school, junior high school, high school, and coming soon is a degree from Hutech University. As for the things that I myself feel proud enough to achieve in this life that only I know, those are the times when I stand in front of the whole class to present my work, because I am the I was afraid of crowds and very shy, but when I overcame that fear and became more confident, I felt I had succeeded with myself. And one more thing, I think I have made my parents proud that I have become a good son, have not bothered my parents with anything. The above, to everyone is nothing, but to me, it is enough to be its own achievements without having to be grand or ostentatious. But I am sure that in the future I will try to achieve greater achievements than I set out for myself, I have to overcome the obstacles that stand in front of me, I must be strong enough to overcome the temptations in my life future for success. And then I'll come back here and tell you about the bigger achievements I've achieved than now.
In each of us, everyone will have a goal to pursue and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
it, and everyone will have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievement
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Achievements
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be getting a promotion at work, getting an advanced degree, buying a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, buying a car, etc. For me
personally
, if I talk about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievement
, it's too high for me, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
proud when I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
my goals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I am
still
young and
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities ahead.

If I talk about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
with their eyes, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they are certificates of completion of elementary school, junior high school, high school, and coming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
is a degree from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hutech
University.

As for the things that I myself feel proud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
in this life that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
I know, those are the times when I stand in front of the whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to present my work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I am
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "I"?
the I
was afraid of crowds and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
shy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when I overcame that fear and became more confident, I felt I had succeeded with myself. And one more thing, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I have made my parents proud that I have become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
son, have not bothered my parents with anything. The above, to everyone is nothing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to me, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
to be its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
without having to be grand or ostentatious.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I am sure that in the future I will try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
than I set out for myself, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
overcome the obstacles that stand in front of me, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
to overcome the temptations in my life future for success. And then I'll
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back here and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about the bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
I've achieved than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
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IELTS essay Describe what you accomplished in your life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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