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The most important year in my life was this year, when I finished school and chose my future profession.

The most important year in my life was this year, when I finished school and chose my future profession. 2aO1w
Well, picking an important year was bit header as so many important events took place in different years in my life. However, out of those, I would like to talk about the year 2002 which I consider as one of the most important years in my life. I was not only excited about finishing my school but also nervous at the same time because I just didn’t know what kind of profession I was going to choose after ending my formal educational life. Until this year, my parents often recommended different professions to me, but later I made the final choice.
Well, picking an
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important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
was
Consider using a past participle here: "bitten".
bit
header as
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so
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many
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important
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events
took place in
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different
years in my life.
However
, out of those, I would like to talk about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2002 which I consider as one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
years in my life. I was not
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only
excited about finishing my school
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but
also
nervous at the same time
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because
I
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just
didn’t know what kind of profession I was going to choose after ending my formal educational life. Until this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, my parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
recommended
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
professions to me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
later I made the final choice.
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Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The most important year in my life was this year, when I finished school and chose my future profession.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
101 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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