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computers and digital technology. Benefits and problems

computers and digital technology. Benefits and problems BYyPm
In model life today, many people believe that is very important of technology, and it effects a lot to human’s life such as computers or anther kinds of digital technology. Beside benefits that it brings to people like connecting, and relaxing for people, it also has problems as taking a lot of time even make someone become lost control balance of life. Firstly, the most advantage of technology gives for human that is connecting between people with people. It helps people who able to talk and share more moment of their life day by day without face to face. In addition, digital technology also a tool that be used to relaxed after work hard of a most people. For example, following exam of Canada’s government, there were more than 80 percent people who used digital technology for listen music and watched movie during pandemic in 2020. However, there is many problem problems which technology brings back to people’s life. When the internet becoming a tool which were used in every time in model life. It makes people become lazy and they want to use it in every time even they know exactly how to do. Moreover, some children play game most of time of their life, they can sit before computer all the day without eat or rest. In conclusion, technology is very important with human’s life today. But people have to know how to used it that it brings for them more benefit and decrease problems.
In model
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
believe
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, and it effects a lot to human’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
such as computers or anther kinds of digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Beside benefits that it brings to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like connecting, and relaxing for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it
also
has
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problems
as taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
someone become lost control balance of life.

Firstly
, the most advantage of
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technology
gives for human
that is
connecting between
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people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
A noun should not follow 'who'. Try changing to a verb or maybe to "who is a able".
who able
to talk and share more moment of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
day by day without face to face.
In addition
, digital
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technology
also
a tool that be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to relaxed after work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
of a most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, following exam of Canada’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, there were more than 80 percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for listen music and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
movie during pandemic in 2020.

However
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
brings back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
the internet becoming a tool which were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in every
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time
in model
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
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people
become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lazy and
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
even they know exactly how to do.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children play game most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they can sit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
computer all the day without eat or rest.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
with human’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it that it brings for them more benefit and decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
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IELTS essay computers and digital technology. Benefits and problems

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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