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Discuss advantages and disadvantages of living in an apartment instead of a university dormitory and defend your preference.

Discuss advantages and disadvantages of living in an apartment instead of a university dormitory and defend your preference. Nry2m
Many people hold an opinion that college students should stay on campus rather than living at home. From my point of view, I agree with this statement to some extend for several justifications. Life on campus may be more advantageous for university students than at home with parents. Firstly, living away from home without care from parents, the learners must take care of themselves like health, personal budgets. They will become more mature to concentrate on academic study as well as enhance their problem solving skills. Secondly, independence from parents at a young age is largely accepted and encouraged, especially when students reach the age of eighteen are able to earn a living on their own or gain valuable work experience. They will be free in choosing subjects, part time jobs for their own study. This makes them feel very comfortable and satisfied in all activities. Finally, having lived in a hostel, the students would have a chance to extend their relationship as they have to live together with other students. These social relationships could benefit students in their later career as well as teach them the way to communicate and take care of the surroundings. On the other hand, There are some limitations when students living far from home without parents. First of all, they are short of parental care and frequent observation, they are easily allured into illegal activities. Furthermore, students have to worry about earning money. They are distracted by financial difficulty, they are unable to pay full attention to their study. The students would have to learn to balance their finance, which is the most vital thing to help them survive until the end of the moth. Finally, they can have bad relationship outside because they lack parental control. From this, they are affected to a diverse environment from various social and cultural backgrounds. In conclusion, there is no doubt that staying with family is a safe way for students, but it is also better for them to live far away from their home. Living on the school’s campus, the learners are able to be mature, independent, and skilful with their own.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold an opinion that college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should stay on campus
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
at home. From my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
for several justifications.

Life on campus may be more advantageous for university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
than at home with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
away from home without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, the learners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of themselves like health, personal budgets. They will become more mature to concentrate on academic study
as well
as enhance their problem solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
, independence from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
at a young age is
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
and encouraged,
especially
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
reach the age of eighteen are able to earn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
or gain valuable work experience. They will be free in choosing subjects,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
jobs for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
study. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortable and satisfied in all activities.
Finally
, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in a hostel, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would have a chance to extend their relationship as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. These social relationships could benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their later career
as well
as teach them the way to communicate and take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the surroundings.

On the other hand
, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitations when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
far from home without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, they are short of parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and frequent observation, they are
easily
allured into illegal activities.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about earning money. They
are distracted
by financial difficulty, they are unable to pay full attention to their study. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn to balance their finance, which is the most vital thing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them survive until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the moth.
Finally
, they can have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
relationship outside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they lack parental control. From this, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
to a diverse environment from various social and cultural backgrounds.

In conclusion
, there is no doubt that staying with family is a safe way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
better for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away from their home.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
on the school’s campus, the learners are able to be mature, independent, and
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
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IELTS essay Discuss advantages and disadvantages of living in an apartment instead of a university dormitory and defend your preference.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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