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discribing of my work and workspace

discribing of my work and workspace x86Ab
I'm going to tell you about my job. First of all, I'd like to mention that in the university I prepared to be an engineer. And after graduation, I was sent as a young specialist to Poltava to start my career in Oil and Gas company. At that moment they had no free positions for me according to my technical specialty, and they offered me the work as human resources specialist. So now, I am a highly qualified human resources specialist with many years of experience. I can't say that my job is glamorous, but I find it rather interesting. My profession is connected with low, people, human skills, and abilities. I am very happy that my schedule does not consist of night shifts and I have a usual work week from Monday to Friday. My day starts at 8 o'clock and finishes at 5 in the evening. I must admit that my company has a hierarchical structure, and it is very important to have good working relationships with colleagues and reputation between them. It is easier to work when your boss is a real leader, and he or she can always help you with advice and find the way to establish a good rapport with all of us. Every day I have to collaborate with different people and departments, sometimes my work can become anti-social. In that period I should analyze figures, tables and make some accounts. This kind of work is stimulating my mind. But from time to time I do some mechanical and repetitive operations. I don't like a monotonous and mundane job. I prefer challenging tasks. Occasionally my heavy workload faces a deadline. It’s very stressful period, but when it ends successfully, you can receive some rewards and satisfaction from your results. Now I want to say some words about my workspace. Our office had no open space technology and it doesn't use the hot-desking system. An I am very happy about it. Several years ago I had the experience to work in the office alone. It helped me to concentrate my attention on my tasks and no one could distract me. Now I share my workroom with my opposite number. I do a job-share with her, and we can collaborate and help with our work. We have other workmates in our group, we are always ready to help each other, but we try not only to talk shop during the day, but we also discuss different news and other events. In conclusion, I want to say that no matter what work we do, we must do it excellently. Then it will help us to acquire new skills, communicate with different people, learn new programs and techniques, cope with different stressful situations and problems, and open opportunities for professional growth. But we must not forget that work is only one part of our life. And it is very important to have a balance in your life between family, friends, free time, and your work. It is called "ikigai".
I'm going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about my job.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I'd like to mention that in the university I prepared to be an engineer. And after graduation, I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
as a young specialist to Poltava to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
my career in Oil and Gas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. At that moment they had no free positions for me according to my technical specialty, and they offered me the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as human resources specialist.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, I am a
highly
qualified human resources specialist with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years of experience. I can't say that my job is glamorous,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I find it
rather
interesting. My profession
is connected
with low,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and abilities.

I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy that my schedule does not consist of night shifts and I have a usual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
week from Monday to Friday. My day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
at 8 o'clock and finishes at 5 in the evening. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
admit that my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has a hierarchical structure, and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
working relationships with colleagues and reputation between them. It is easier to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when your boss is a real leader, and he or she can always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you with advice and find the way to establish a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
rapport with all of us. Every day I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
collaborate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and departments,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can become anti-social. In that period I should analyze figures, tables and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
accounts. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is stimulating my mind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
from time to time I do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mechanical and repetitive operations. I don't like a monotonous and mundane job. I prefer challenging tasks.
Occasionally
my heavy workload faces a deadline. It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
stressful period,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when it ends
successfully
, you can receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rewards and satisfaction from your results.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I want to say
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words about my workspace. Our office had no open space technology and it doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
hot-desking
system.
Possible typo. Did you mean "An" or "I"?
An I
am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy about it. Several years ago I had the experience to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the office alone. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to concentrate my attention on my tasks and no one could distract me.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I share my workroom with my opposite number. I do a job-share with her, and we can collaborate and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. We have other workmates in our group, we are always ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
each other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we try not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to talk shop during the day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
also
discuss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
news and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

In conclusion
, I want to say that no matter what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
we do, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do it
excellently
. Then it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us to acquire new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, learn new programs and techniques, cope with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
stressful situations and problems, and open opportunities for professional growth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not forget that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one part of our life. And it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have a balance in your life between family, friends, free time, and your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. It
is called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
ikigai
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.

IELTS essay discribing of my work and workspace

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
502 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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