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An opinion essay: A long calm life or a short intense life?

An opinion essay: A long calm life or a short intense life? OwMJd
There is debate among two groups, weather a short but action packed life is better or a long and calm till the age of 100 is superior. I believe that life is meant to be lived fully and it should be intense. Just living life till we die is not something I would want to look forward. There are several advantages of living an intense life. Firstly, human perform much better under time boundation, we are forced to extend the horizon of limits to the maximum capacity. Deadline on tasks maximises our potential. Besides, it makes us feel alive by aderline rush in the brain. TIme on earth is limited, one should not take it for granted by procrastinating important decisions. Finally, simply navigating through life is not enough. On the other hand, a life with tranquility has multiple advantages too. When we are naive, we often misunderstood life as some sort of a race, but life is a journey indeed. Spending time with family, children and friends is a blessing, which fills us with gratitude. Mental peace is often neglected in fast paced lifestyle, Certainly, it is all we need to lead a happy and content life. I am believer of utilizing the most of life with fixed time limits and squeezing the best, but peaceful life is a definite way to increase contentment and longevity.
There is debate among two groups, weather a short
but
action packed
life
is better or a long and calm till the age of 100 is superior. I believe that
life
is meant
to be
lived
fully
and it should be intense.
Just
living
life
till we
die
is not something I would want to look forward.

There are several advantages of living an intense
life
.
Firstly
, human perform much better under
time
boundation
, we
are forced
to extend the horizon of limits to the maximum capacity. Deadline on tasks
maximises
our potential.
Besides
, it
makes
us feel alive by
aderline
rush in the brain.
TIme
on earth
is limited
, one should not take it for granted by procrastinating
important
decisions.
Finally
,
simply
navigating through
life
is not
enough
.

On the other hand
, a
life
with tranquility has multiple advantages too. When we are naive, we
often
misunderstood
life
as
some
sort of a
race,
but
life
is a journey
indeed
. Spending
time
with family, children and friends is a blessing, which fills us with gratitude. Mental peace is
often
neglected in
fast
paced lifestyle,
Certainly
, it is all we need to lead a happy and content life.

I am believer of utilizing the most of
life
with
fixed
time
limits and squeezing the best,
but
peaceful
life
is a
definite
way to increase contentment and longevity.
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IELTS essay An opinion essay: A long calm life or a short intense life?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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