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disadvantage and advantage of travelling abroad

disadvantage and advantage of travelling abroad KlWoR
There are many ways to spend freetime. One of them is travelling. This essay will analyze the benefits and drawbacks of this trend. First of all, Travelling overseas is a best way to visit many interesting places and meet many friendly people. As a result, it is very valuable for vistiors to know more about other cultures, new tradition and make new friends. Secondly, that journey may be a chance for tourists to broden their horizon. In other word, travelling abroad can help you having new experiment that can use in real life and can make their knowledge wider. In addition, travelling is the best solution for those who want to get away from “grey reality”. For instance, they can relax their mind after work by shopping, swimming in a beach on the sunny day, … On the other hand, a journey oversea cost may be a problem with people whose economy do not thrive. To put it simply, travelling abroad often go by plane and cost of the airplane tickets are often pretty high and not everyone can afford it easily. Secondly, language barrier may be a problem for someone who do not approach with that foreign language before. As a result, travellers do not know what native speakers say and this may lead to some hillarious situation or even some dangerous situation. Furthermore, vistors may have some culture shock when they travel abroad. To put it in other word, some of their cultures may not suit with our imagination. In conclusion, travelling is a good way to relax, make some nice memories and learn something new. Inspite of that, it’s advised for holiday makers to think carefully about their economy before travel abroad.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to spend
Possible spelling mistake found.
freetime
. One of them is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. This essay will analyze the benefits and drawbacks of this trend.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
overseas is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best way to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
interesting places and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
friendly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
As a result
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
valuable for
Possible spelling mistake found.
vistiors
to know more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
tradition and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends.
Secondly
, that journey may be a chance for tourists to
Possible spelling mistake found.
broden
their horizon. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
word,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you
The verb 'travelling' is used with an infinitive: "to have" or "have".
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiment that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in real life and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their knowledge wider.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is the best solution for those who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from “
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
reality”.
For instance
, they can relax their mind after work by shopping, swimming in a beach on the sunny day, …

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, a journey oversea cost may be a problem with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
whose economy do not thrive. To put it
simply
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
and cost of the airplane tickets are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
pretty high and not everyone can afford it
easily
.
Secondly
, language barrier may be a problem for someone who do not approach with that foreign language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
As a result
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
do not know what native speakers say and this may lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
hillarious
situation or even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situation.
Furthermore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
vistors
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
culture shock when they travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. To put it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
word,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their cultures may not suit with our imagination.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to relax,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nice memories and learn something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inspite
of that, it’s advised for holiday makers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
carefully
about their economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
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IELTS essay disadvantage and advantage of travelling abroad

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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