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t is true that the statement about a world with only one ruling apparatus is better than a multi-authority one has been argued by people for some time now.

t is true that the statement about a world with only one ruling apparatus is better than a multi-authority one has been argued by people for some time now. XqVVO
It is true that the statement about a world with only one ruling apparatus is better than a multi-authority one has been argued by people for some time now. Although the concept of cosmocracy may having several benefits globally, it can still bring out a lot of potential insoluble issues to outweigh the advantages. To be looking at two sides of a situation, there is evidence proved that one government can really beneficial citizens in some aspects. Firstly, some people believed that cosmocracy can reduce the possibility of war among countries and parties, thereby maintaining the peace in this world. For instance, USA, one of the wealthiest country only has one federal government to lead 50 states and still guaranteed economic and social development with significant figures year by year. Secondly, a single universal authority can have the ability to address global problems in a more efficient way. To be more specific, collecting taxes, upgrading facilities or providing support in terms of education and healthcare can be more fairly and easier if it is under the control of one single government. However, beside all the mentioned advantages, it is considerable to look at a cosmocratic system as a key leads to a lot of potential problems. The first drawback can be the lack of restriction on immigration. A vivid example for this is the overload of immigration in some nations, people from various parts of the world flock to prosperous areas in developed countries such as USA and may lead to an increase in fierce competition for jobs and higher unemployment and crime rates. Another aspect is that if the single system failed in running and controlling the world, then it would looked like pulled out the most important brick of the tower, the tower collapsed and destroy everything including every opportunities for development of the world. In conclusion, I am convinced that the benefits of having a single-authority system would not be enough to solve all of its predicted drawbacks.
It is true that the statement about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one ruling apparatus is better than a multi-authority one has
been argued
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Although the concept of
Possible spelling mistake found.
cosmocracy
may having several benefits globally, it can
still
bring out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
potential insoluble issues to outweigh the advantages.

To be looking at two sides of a situation, there is evidence proved that one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
really
beneficial citizens in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believed that
Possible spelling mistake found.
cosmocracy
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the possibility of war among countries and parties, thereby maintaining the peace in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
For instance
, USA, one of the wealthiest country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has one federal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to lead 50 states and
still
guaranteed economic and social development with significant
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "figures'" or "figure's"?
figures
year by year.
Secondly
, a single universal authority can have the ability to address global problems in a more efficient way. To be more specific, collecting taxes, upgrading facilities or providing support in terms of education and healthcare can be more
fairly
and easier if it is under the control of one single
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

However
, beside all the mentioned advantages, it is considerable to look at a
Possible spelling mistake found.
cosmocratic
system as a key leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
potential problems. The
first
drawback can be the lack of restriction on immigration. A vivid example for this is the overload of immigration in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from various parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
flock to prosperous areas in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
such
A determiner is probably missing here: "as the USA".
as USA
and may lead to an increase in fierce competition for jobs and higher unemployment and crime rates. Another aspect is that if the single system failed in running and controlling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, then it would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "look"
looked
like pulled out the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
brick of the tower, the tower collapsed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
everything including every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "opportunity"?
opportunities
for development of the world.

In conclusion
, I
am convinced
that the benefits of having a single-authority system would not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to solve all of its predicted drawbacks.
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IELTS essay t is true that the statement about a world with only one ruling apparatus is better than a multi-authority one has been argued by people for some time now.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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