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Differences between countries become less evident each year. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this?

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this? 8x9xV
Many aspects of culture and people's lifestyles are becoming increasingly similar throughout the world. Although this trend has some benefits, I would agree that the disadvantages are more noteworthy. On the one hand, the advantages of less variation across countries are undeniable. First and foremost, it indicates that the gap between wealthy and poor nations has narrowed significantly. Citizens in developing countries can now obtain products that were previously unavailable to them. For example, most Vietnamese consumers can now purchase clothing from brands that were previously only available in Western countries. Furthermore, the growing similarity between countries contributes to the reduction of gender inequality in many nations, owing to the elimination of outdated thinking. For instance, in some Asian countries, more women who were previously discriminated against in the workplace are now in positions of leadership. On the other hand, I am convinced that the drawbacks of this trend outweigh the benefits. When customers all over the world buy imported food, the demand for domestic food has plummeted dramatically. This may cause goods to become obsolete, and it has forced many businesses to downsize or close, resulting in widespread unemployment. In Vietnam, for example, the popularity of Australian beef is displacing a large number of cattlemen. Furthermore, I believe that differences between nations may gradually erode national identity. When more societies favor the Western way of life, the traditional way will be considered out of date. This means that people may not appreciate their homeland, which contributes to the phenomenon of brain drain. In conclusion, while this trend may provide some benefits to citizens and countries, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits for the reasons stated above.
Many
aspects of culture and
people
's lifestyles are becoming
increasingly
similar throughout the world. Although this trend has
some
benefits
, I would
agree
that the disadvantages are more noteworthy.

On the one hand, the advantages of less variation across
countries
are undeniable.
First
and foremost, it indicates that the gap between wealthy and poor nations has narrowed
significantly
. Citizens in developing
countries
can
now
obtain products that were previously unavailable to them.
For example
, most Vietnamese consumers can
now
purchase
clothing from brands that were previously
only
available in Western
countries
.
Furthermore
, the growing similarity between
countries
contributes to the reduction of gender inequality in
many
nations, owing to the elimination of outdated thinking.
For instance
, in
some
Asian
countries
, more women who were previously discriminated against in the workplace are
now
in positions of leadership.

On the other hand
, I
am convinced
that the drawbacks of this trend outweigh the
benefits
. When customers all over the world
buy
imported food, the demand for domestic food has plummeted
dramatically
. This may cause
goods
to become obsolete, and it has forced
many
businesses to downsize or close, resulting in widespread unemployment. In Vietnam,
for example
, the popularity of Australian beef is displacing
a large number of
cattlemen.
Furthermore
, I believe that differences between nations may
gradually
erode national identity. When more societies favor the Western way of life, the traditional way will
be considered
out of date. This means that
people
may not appreciate their homeland, which contributes to the phenomenon of brain drain.

In conclusion
, while this trend may provide
some
benefits
to citizens and
countries
, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the
benefits
for the reasons stated above.
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IELTS essay Differences between countries become less evident each year. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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