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Today, online posts and comments made by famous people such as singers and actors have great influences on young people. However, some people think that this is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Today, online posts and comments made by famous people such as singers and actors have great influences on young people. However, some people think that this is a negative development. Give reasons for answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. PMwLJ
Nowadays, celebrities' activities are effected greatly on young people. Teenagers now enjoy doing or thinking like what the singers or actors they like post or comment in the internet. Some people believe that it have impacted badly to young people. I tend to agree with that. In this essay, I will discuss about the reasons. Celebrities have their good side, they are famous and wealthy, so a large number of them would love to do good things because they know that many people will do the same thing like them. For example, when they do the charity, then they post some pictures about it on Facebook, then lots of people can see it and do the same thing. On top of that, some of their comments can inspire young people in their life, because some of teenagers and students prefer doing things that the famous people say to what their parents say. On the other hand, some well-know people love doing bad things like smoking, using foul language, etc. And if they post or say something not good, young people who is unaware of bad things will be able to do like them. Therefore, that makes parents worry and don not allow their children to use the social media or watch celebrities on the internet. To sum up, my point of view is that parents should let their kids watch the celebries, but they must teach their sons or daughters about both the good and bad sides of that, and encourage them to do nice things like their favorite actors and singers.
Nowadays, celebrities' activities
are effected
greatly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
enjoy doing or thinking like what the singers or actors they like post or comment
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it have impacted
badly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that. In this essay, I will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
reasons.

Celebrities have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
side, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and wealthy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
them would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will do the same thing
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
like
them.
For example
, when they do the charity, then they post
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pictures about it on Facebook, then lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it and do the same thing.
On top of that
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their comments can inspire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and students prefer doing things that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say to what their parents say.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
well-know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things like smoking, using foul language, etc. And if they post or say something not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
is
unaware of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things will be able to do like them.
Therefore
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
parents worry and
Did you mean "do not"?
don not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the social media or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
celebrities on the internet.

To sum up, my point of view is that parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
celebries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
teach their sons or daughters about both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
sides of that, and encourage them to do nice things like their favorite actors and singers.
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IELTS essay Today, online posts and comments made by famous people such as singers and actors have great influences on young people. However, some people think that this is a negative development. Give reasons for answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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