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diet that is high in fat of the youngsters is becoming a thorny issue all over the world. The essay below will analyze some major reasons for this situation and its consequences will be presented

diet that is high in fat of the youngsters is becoming a thorny issue all over the world. The essay below will analyze some major reasons for this situation and its consequences will be presented 8g5bx
There is a wide belief that health care plays a vital role in the child development. Notwithstanding, a diet that is high in fat of the youngsters is becoming a thorny issue all over the world. The essay below will analyze some major reasons for this situation and its consequences will be presented. On the other hand, there will have some measurements to tackle this problem. It is possibly fact that this issue may be caused by some main reasons. First and foremost, there one of the key factors of this matter is the children’s diet. This means that the more eye-catching food, the more attractive it is to kid. Having said that, the striking nourishments such as candy, soft drinks contain numerous of sweeteners and it leads to the weight gain of the offspring. Another point I would like to clarify is that due to remarkable advancement and sophistication in technology. This problem stems from junior citizens become more sedentary, and they waste their time sitting front of the computer without any physical activity. It will become a double-edged sword with many detrimental effects on our health. Another factor leading to this situation is the uncontrollable of children’s diet from adults. Although the tasty and eye-catching appearance of these fast foods are inherently appealing to children, in order for them to form the habit of enjoying these foods is owing to the care and pampering of the adults. In fact, there was a research of World Health Organization (WHO) on this problem showed that after the period of four decades starting from 1975, the rate of obese children in the world has increased tenfold. And it all arises from the above reasons. Within the boundary of these thorny issue, there are a myriad of viable impacts. One primary effect should be that the proliferation of risk of dangerous diseases. Namely, heart disease, diabetes. The further consequence could be seen that the fatness causes a lot of negative effects and it will affect the cardiovascular activity system and digestive system. In order to resolve such problems, teachers, parents and government should take some concerted measures. One primary solution would be that the school have to offer the offspring extra outdoor activities. If they do more exercises, their physical condition will be enhanced. On the other hand, the adults should keep an eye on their youngsters’ eating habit. Parents need to increase green vegetables, healthy foods into the children’s menu, besides they should limit the sweet for their kid. Moreover, the government have to introduce the regulation banning the processing of poisonous items. In conclusion, the above-mentioned facts have outlined the reasons, the effects as well as the measures of this issue. The presented suggestions would be very good steps towards solving them. People should have further consideration on this concern.
There is a wide belief that health care plays a vital role in the child development. Notwithstanding, a diet
that is
high in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
of the youngsters is becoming a thorny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
all over the world. The essay below will analyze
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major reasons for this situation and its consequences will
be presented
.
On the other hand
, there will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measurements to tackle this problem.

It is
possibly
fact that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
may
be caused
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
main reasons.
First
and foremost, there one of the key factors of this matter is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
diet. This means that the more eye-catching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, the more attractive it is to kid. Having said that, the striking
Possible spelling mistake found.
nourishments
such as candy, soft drinks contain numerous of sweeteners and it leads to the weight gain of the offspring. Another point I would like to clarify is that due to remarkable advancement and sophistication in technology. This problem stems from junior citizens become more sedentary, and they waste their time sitting front of the computer without any physical activity. It will become a double-edged sword with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
detrimental effects on our health. Another factor leading to this situation is
The phrase 'the uncontrollable of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the uncontrollable of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
diet from adults. Although the tasty and eye-catching appearance of these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are
inherently
appealing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, in order for them to form the habit of enjoying these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
is owing to the care and pampering of the adults. In fact, there was
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
of World Health Organization (WHO) on this problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that after the period of four decades starting from 1975, the rate of obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the world has increased tenfold. And it all arises from the above reasons.

Within the boundary of these thorny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "myriads"?
myriad
of viable impacts. One primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
should be that the proliferation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases.
Namely
, heart disease, diabetes. The
further
consequence could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the fatness causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects and it will affect the cardiovascular activity system and digestive system.

In order to resolve such problems, teachers, parents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
concerted measures. One primary solution would be that the school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
offer the offspring extra outdoor activities. If they do more exercises, their physical condition will
be enhanced
.
On the other hand
, the adults should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on their youngsters’ eating habit. Parents need to increase green vegetables, healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
menu,
besides
they should limit the sweet for their kid.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
introduce the regulation banning the processing of poisonous items.

In conclusion
, the above-mentioned facts have outlined the reasons, the effects
as well
as the measures of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. The presented suggestions would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
steps towards solving them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should have
further
consideration on this concern.
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IELTS essay diet that is high in fat of the youngsters is becoming a thorny issue all over the world. The essay below will analyze some major reasons for this situation and its consequences will be presented

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
470 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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