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Developments in technology have brought various environmental problems. Some believe that people need to live simpler lives to solve environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.6

Developments in technology have brought various environmental problems. Some believe that people need to live simpler lives to solve environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. v. 6
It is true that the advancements in science are immensely influencing the surroundings by polluting them. Some inhabitants are of the view that everyone requires to live without using many machines, while others think that various gadgets can be used to avoid the unavoidable conditions cause by technology. In my opinion, one must depend on the new inventions in the tech-world but wisely without causing pollution. Undoubtedly, people nowadays, are completely dependent on the electronic gadgets to do their domestic, office and personal works. They rely on computers and the internet to find out creative ideas to meet their targets at work. Consequently, these gadgets produce a detrimental effect on the environment by releasing harmful radiations and thus, causing pollution. For instance, electromagnetic radiations which are emitted by mobile phones, are resulting in decline of population of birds, thus making the food chain unstable. However, some individuals are of the view that scientists can invent green technology, which does not produce any toxic substances, and are eco-friendly. Furthermore, the electronic gadgets can be used to eliminate pollution related issues. For example, sensors can be installed along the communication sites to avoid excessive emission of radiations, and in addition to this, the radiation absorbers can be utilised to absorb these rays. In my view, the discoveries in the science are a boom if we utilise it for a positive purpose, and they should be used wisely to avoid their harmful impacts on the living organisms. Like, we can use satellite communication, only when we are commuting from one place to another, but not for luxury purpose, as this leads to many hazards on the nature. National parks and wildlife centuries can be built for the birds and other animals, which are free from the radiations, to provide safe surroundings for them. To conclude, one should use machines and other devices to equip themselves to deal with complex problems of life, but not to make the simple things complex. With this wise use of technology, the beautiful nature can be conserved, and it all saves us from deteriorating world.
It is true that the advancements in science are
immensely
influencing the surroundings by polluting them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
inhabitants are of the view that everyone requires to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
machines, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to avoid the unavoidable conditions cause by technology. In my opinion, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
depend on the new inventions in the tech-world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
wisely
without causing pollution.

Undoubtedly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays, are completely dependent on the electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
to do their domestic, office and personal works. They rely on computers and the internet to find out creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their targets at work.
Consequently
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
produce a detrimental effect on the environment by releasing harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radiations
and
thus
, causing pollution.
For instance
, electromagnetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radiations
which
are emitted
by mobile phones, are resulting in decline of population of birds,
thus
making the food chain unstable.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals are of the view that scientists can invent green technology, which does not produce any toxic substances, and are eco-friendly.
Furthermore
, the electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to eliminate pollution related issues.
For example
, sensors can
be installed
along the communication sites to avoid excessive emission of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radiations
, and
in addition
to this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radiation
absorbers can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
to absorb these rays.

In my view, the discoveries in the science are a boom if we
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
it for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
purpose, and they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
wisely
to avoid their harmful impacts on the living organisms. Like, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
satellite communication,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when we are commuting from one place to another,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not for luxury purpose, as this leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hazards on the nature. National parks and wildlife centuries can
be built
for the birds and other animals, which are free from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radiations
, to provide safe surroundings for them.

To conclude
, one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
machines and other devices to equip themselves to deal with complex problems of life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the simple things complex. With this wise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
nature can
be conserved
, and it all saves us from deteriorating world.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Developments in technology have brought various environmental problems. Some believe that people need to live simpler lives to solve environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
347 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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