Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Developments in technology has brought various environmental problems. Some believe that people need to live simpler lives to solve environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give v.2

Developments in technology has brought various environmental problems. Some believe that people need to live simpler lives to solve environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. 2
It is true that breakthroughs and innovations in technology contribute to different environmental problems. While some people argue that a simpler life is necessary to measure issues of the environment, I believe that using technology is the better way to deal with these problems. On the one hand, when people live in a simple way, their demand for natural resources would be minimised as a certain result. For example, if workers commute from their home to their workplace by walking or cycling, the chances are exploiting oil or gas for private vehicles seems unnecessary. Similarly, if individuals get rid of their sedentary lifestyle such as watching TV for persistency hours and switch to participate in outdoor activities, electricity sources supplied for residential areas might be reduced to the basic level. As the use of natural resources declines, the fall of industrial wastes which are released by the process of consuming and exploiting are inevitable. These advantages of simplifying the life, therefore, would have dramatically positive impacts on the environment. However, I am convinced that technology proves to be more effective in measuring environmental issues than other ways. The advancements in science areas will encourage people to use renewable power sources, such as solar energy or wind energy, instead of using traditional resources. Since the developments succeeded, they are more likely to be mass-produced to reduce the costs and raise the ability of competition in the market. Clean energies, as the result, would become popular and gradually replace the non-renewable resources. In other words, developing technology also help people to find sustainable sources and limit negative influences that old sources bring out without depleting human' s basic needs. In conclusion, although the reasons for adopting a simpler life are justifiable, I argue that using technology is a better choice to tackle with environmental issues but still meet the human' s needs for energy.
It is true that breakthroughs and innovations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
contribute to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
environmental problems. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that a simpler life is necessary to measure issues of the environment, I believe that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is the better way to deal with these problems.

On the one hand, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
Consider replacing "in a simple way" with the adverb for "simple"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a simple way
, their demand for natural resources would be
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimised' is British English.
minimised
as a certain result.
For example
, if workers commute from their home to their workplace by walking or cycling, the chances are exploiting oil or gas for private vehicles seems unnecessary.
Similarly
, if individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of their sedentary lifestyle such as watching TV for
Possible spelling mistake found.
persistency
hours and switch to participate in outdoor activities, electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
supplied for residential areas might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to the basic level. As the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of natural resources declines, the fall of industrial wastes which
are released
by the process of consuming and exploiting are inevitable. These advantages of simplifying the life,
therefore
, would have
dramatically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on the environment.

However
, I
am convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
proves to be more effective in measuring environmental issues than other ways. The advancements in science areas will encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
renewable power
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
, such as solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
or wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
,
instead
of using traditional resources. Since the developments succeeded, they are more likely to be mass-produced to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the costs and raise the ability of competition in the market. Clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energies
, as the result, would become popular and
gradually
replace the non-renewable resources.
In other words
, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
and limit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
bring out without depleting
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s basic needs.

In conclusion
, although the reasons for adopting a simpler life are justifiable, I argue that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is a better choice to tackle with environmental issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s needs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Developments in technology has brought various environmental problems. Some believe that people need to live simpler lives to solve environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts