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Development of country,economical progression of the country Loss of values,unemployment At the present time,the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults,compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Development of country, economical progression of the country Loss of values, unemployment At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? bVaB
Nowadays, the census reports around the world represents majority of people below their thirties than the fraction of people on their sixties. This trend have various advantages and disadvantages. This essay will examine different benefits and adverse effects of the diminishing number of elder citizens on the total number of population of a country and provide a logical conclusion. The major advantages of the expanding fraction of younger generation on the national population are mainly development and the economic progression of a country. The increasing ratios of people at their younger ages on the total number of citizens in a nation catalysts the journey of countries advancement. Younger generations are welcoming more and more innovative ideas and they also ready to work tirelessly while that was not the case of a person who prepares for getting retired within a couple of years. The current generation people are also free from major diseases and will not eat much from the public health care systems which will also benefit the government to save on the money budgeting for country’s healthcare needs. For example, UAE population possess elder citizens less than 3% and the amount they are spending on the public healthcare systems are really negligible and the remaining money they are effectively spending on development of the country. Disadvantages of the shortage of elder population in the total number of peoples are mainly the unemployment and increased competition in a society. The increasing number of more and more peoples coming in search of jobs will definitely lead to the unemployment as well as the decreasing demand for the professionals will make the job market much more competing. The human values will also be neglected by the young generation as they are more concentrated on their personal benefits rather than considering the overall development of the country. In a nutshell, the huge number of junior citizens on a nation’s population have several advantages and disadvantages, i think that the countries around the world can be benefited more from the advantages like overall development rather than considering the minor issues like unemployment and increased competition.
Nowadays, the census reports around the world represents majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
below their thirties than the fraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on their sixties.
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "This trend has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This trend have
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages. This essay will examine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
benefits and adverse effects of the diminishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
on the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and provide a logical conclusion.

The major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of the expanding fraction of younger generation on the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
are
mainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
and the economic progression of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The increasing ratios of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at their younger ages on the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
in a nation catalysts the journey of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
advancement. Younger generations are welcoming more and more innovative
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ideas and
they
also
ready to work
tirelessly
while that was not the case of a person who prepares for getting retired within a couple of years. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
free from major diseases and will not eat much from the public health care systems which will
also
benefit the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to save on the money budgeting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
healthcare needs.
For example
, UAE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
possess elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
less than 3% and the amount they are spending on the public healthcare systems are
really
negligible and the remaining money they are
effectively
spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the country.

Disadvantages of the shortage of elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
are
mainly
the unemployment and increased competition in a society. The increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
coming in search of jobs will definitely lead to the unemployment
as well
as the decreasing demand for the professionals will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the job market much more competing. The human values will
also
be neglected
by the young generation as they are more concentrated on their personal benefits
rather
than considering the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the country.

In a nutshell, the huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
on a nation’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
have several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world can
be benefited
more from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
like
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
rather
than considering the minor issues like unemployment and increased competition.
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IELTS essay Development of country, economical progression of the country Loss of values, unemployment At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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