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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? DRO6
The idea of old-age homes is becoming moderately popular these days and majority of Britain's old population are going to these homes where they are taken great care by the nurses. Though the payment for this hospitality is made by the government sometimes yet it is a debatable topic as to whether the family or the government should pay for it. In my opinion, the payment for the care depends on two important factors and it should be accordingly decided on who needs to pay for it. The first deciding factor is whether the person has a family or not. In case he/she has a family then the money for the care should definitely be provided by his/her family otherwise the money should be provided by the government. For example, if an old person, who doesn't have anyone to look after, they will for obvious reasons turn to the government to help them out. The other deciding factor is if the family of that old person can afford to pay for these homes. In such cases, if the family is poor then the government should try to make majority of the payment and if required even the entire payment. For instance, poor people who are not even able to afford their basic needs but want their ailing parents to be taken care of need the utmost help from the government. In summary, these care-homes for the old people are being well maintained and someone needs to provide the money for the maintenance, for the salary of the nurses, and for the medicines. Thus, it is important that the government steps in to make the payment in cases where either the person doesn't have a family or the family isn't capable enough to afford these facilities.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-age homes is becoming
moderately
popular these days and majority of Britain's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
population are going to these homes where they
are taken
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
by the nurses. Though the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
for this hospitality
is made
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
yet
it is a debatable topic
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pay for it. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
depends on two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors and it should be
accordingly
decided on who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to pay for it.

The
first
deciding factor is whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or not. In case he/she has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
then the money for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
should definitely
be provided
by his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
otherwise
the money should
be provided
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
For example
, if an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, who doesn't have anyone to look after, they will for obvious reasons turn to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them out.

The other deciding factor is if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can afford to pay for these homes. In such cases, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is poor then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
and if required even the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
.
For instance
, poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are not even able to afford their basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
want their ailing parents to
be taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
the utmost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

In summary, these care-homes for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are being well maintained and someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to provide the money for the maintenance, for the salary of the nurses, and for the medicines.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
steps in to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
in cases where either the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
doesn't have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
isn't capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to afford these facilities.
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IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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