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Developing the sense of discipline in children is an important job for parent. Discuss

Developing the sense of discipline in children is an important job for parent. Discuss 0pAW3
Developing the sense of discipline in children is an important job for parent. It is believed that a child learns what happened around him/her and it is also true. Due to the current busy schedule because of business and else, parents are held accountable for the indiscipline nature of their child and it can not be denied. We will discuss this in brief. Firstly, in the modern times, family is mostly nuclear family and because of competition in world and for ones’ survival, both the parent usually works in a household which is completely logical. Because of this reason, the child is mostly left alone in house as parents leave for work, even at a young age. Because of this, parent cannot completely focus on their child and hence fails to teach them moral values with time. Furthermore, the child starts becoming aggressive and lonely, he/she has no one to talk to or share feelings or discuss their day. When the child is not taught lessons about habits, etiquettes, respecting others etc. , these all constitutes to build an indiscipline nature in child. But these all can be avoided if parents make time for their children. It is also said that profession life and personal life should not be mixed. Good parenting is needed for a child’s mental growth. In the nutshell, career and social life is important, but not more than ones’ child’s future. Hence, we can say that time can change everything and this problem can be easily solved easily.
Developing the sense of discipline in children is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
job for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
. It
is believed
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
learns what happened around him/her and it is
also
true. Due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
busy schedule
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of business and else,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are held
accountable for the indiscipline nature of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and it can not
be denied
. We will discuss this
in brief
.

Firstly
, in the modern times, family is
mostly
nuclear family and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of competition in world and for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones’
survival, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
usually
works in a household which is completely logical.
Because of this
reason, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
for work, even at a young age.
Because of this
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
cannot completely focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and
hence
fails to teach them moral values with time.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
becoming aggressive and lonely, he/she has no one to talk to or share feelings or discuss their day. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is not taught lessons about habits,
Possible spelling mistake found.
etiquettes
, respecting others etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
these all constitutes to build an indiscipline nature in child.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
these all can
be avoided
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
time for their children. It is
also
said that profession life and personal life should not
be mixed
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
parenting
is needed
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
mental growth.

In the nutshell, career and social life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
future.
Hence
, we can say that time can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
everything and this problem can be
easily
solved
easily
.

IELTS essay Developing the sense of discipline in children is an important job for parent. Discuss

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
252 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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