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Developed societies always come forward to give support to the poor countries; however it is not eradicate poverty so wealthy nations need to give other kind of assistance instead of helping by money. I totally agree with this notion for a plethora number of reasons which will be elaborated in upcoming paragraphs.

Developed societies always come forward to give support to the poor countries; however it is not eradicate poverty so wealthy nations need to give other kind of assistance instead of helping by money. I totally agree with this notion for a plethora number of reasons which will be elaborated in upcoming paragraphs. 3MnGN
The leading argument in the favor of providing assistant by other resources instead of offering only money is that it makes any nation lazy. By accepting money from another land makes local masses dependent upon others. Especially it affects literally badly on government. Authority becomes less productive as well as they do not makes new improvements in society owing to the fact that taking merely financial aid whenever they want. Also, if developed nations provide help by other ways to underprivileged communities, then it would be extremely beneficial for poverty _striken nations. Wealthy lands should provide good education institutions for poor ones so that needy societies can acquire a better education as well as secure their future by becoming advance in every field. That being said, well _developed countries can open factories and industries in meagre nations. It would be win _win situation for both takers and recipients. Poor people will get more jobs which can reduce the level of poverty along with it, wealthy communities will have to pay less for recruiting labours as compared to their own country where there is strong competition in their counterparts. At last, offering advanced medical assistant to penniless land's will definitely helpful for those individuals who are being facing health ailments, but countries which are unable to introduce expensive technological machines can take profit and makes people's of that community healthy by giving treatments. In conclusion, although providing financial aid to underprivileged nations is a good method to support them, it seems to me that money does not always spell_ out to fullfill necessities of people by authorities. Giving direct medical, educational and job related assistant may give direct benefits to poor individuals.
The leading argument in the favor of providing assistant by other resources
instead
of offering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
money is that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
lazy. By accepting money from another land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
local masses dependent upon others.
Especially
it affects
literally
badly
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Authority becomes less productive
as well
as they do not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "make"?
makes
new improvements in society owing to the fact that taking
merely
financial aid whenever they want.
Also
, if developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
by other ways to underprivileged communities, then it would be
extremely
beneficial for poverty _
Possible spelling mistake found.
striken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. Wealthy lands should provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education institutions for poor ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that needy societies can acquire a better education
as well
as secure their future by becoming advance in every field.

That
being said
, well _developed countries can open factories and industries in
Possible spelling mistake. 'meagre' is British English.
meagre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. It would be
Consider using a past participle here: "won".
win
_win situation for both takers and recipients. Poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more jobs which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the level of poverty along with it, wealthy communities will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay less for recruiting
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
as compared to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country where there is strong competition in their counterparts. At last, offering advanced medical assistant to penniless land's will definitely helpful for those individuals who are being facing health ailments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
countries which are unable to introduce expensive technological machines can take profit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's of that community healthy by giving treatments.

In conclusion
, although providing financial aid to underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
method to support them, it seems to me that money does not always spell_ out to
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfill
necessities of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by authorities. Giving direct medical, educational and job related assistant may give direct benefits to poor individuals.
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IELTS essay Developed societies always come forward to give support to the poor countries; however it is not eradicate poverty so wealthy nations need to give other kind of assistance instead of helping by money. I totally agree with this notion for a plethora number of reasons which will be elaborated in upcoming paragraphs.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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