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sexual education shoud be taught in school

sexual education shoud be taught in school ndJWE
Sex education is a wide and sensitive topic. It's not a new topic but there's still a lot of controversy surrounding this issue. Many people believe that sexual education should be included in the school curriculum. Personally, I completely agree with this view. Firstly, sexual education plays an active role in the overall development of children. Once the kids hit puberty, their bodies and emotions start to change. By being cultivated skills and right knowledge through sex education, they can improve their understanding of their body function and become stronger individuals both mentally and emotionally. It also helps young people to reduce their risk of potentially negative outcomes such as unwanted pregnancy, sexual abuse, or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Furthermore, school is a good and safe environment to learn about sex. There is the fact that parents still hesitate and avoid talking about sexual issues to their kids. In that case, it would be better to provide teenagers with comprehensive sex education in school than to let them learn about it on their own through media or porn. For example, they will be taught about the human body, reproductive health, STDs, or signs of sexual abuse. . . The teacher can also be a psychologist so that the students can ask questions about the matter without pressure or fear. In addition, educating about sex does not mean encouraging sex. Kids are already interested in sex due to their natural growth. Teaching children about sex won’t make them engage blindly or take sexual risks; on the contrary, it will help them make safer, healthier, and more informed decisions about it. In conclusion, it is necessary to make sex education become a compulsory subject in school. The cooperation between teachers and parents in giving children knowledge about sex helps children to obtain a happy and healthy life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a wide and sensitive topic. It's not a new topic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there's
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
controversy surrounding this issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be included
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum.
Personally
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays an active role in the
overall
development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Once the kids hit puberty, their bodies and emotions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. By
being cultivated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and right knowledge through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their understanding of their body function and become stronger individuals both mentally and
emotionally
. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
potentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes such as unwanted pregnancy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
abuse, or
sexually
transmitted diseases (STDs).

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and safe environment to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
. There is the fact that parents
still
hesitate and avoid talking about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
issues to their kids.
In that case
, it would be better to provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
with comprehensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them learn about it on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
through media or porn.
For example
, they will
be taught
about the human body, reproductive health, STDs, or signs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
abuse.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
The teacher can
also
be a psychologist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the students can ask questions about the matter without pressure or fear.

In addition
, educating about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
does not mean encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
. Kids are already interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
due to their natural growth. Teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
won’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them engage
blindly
or take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
;
on the contrary
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
safer, healthier, and more informed decisions about it.

In conclusion
, it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
become a compulsory subject in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. The cooperation between teachers and parents in giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to obtain a happy and healthy life.
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IELTS essay sexual education shoud be taught in school

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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