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Traditions are about the past and technology about the future and it has been argued that we need to let go of traditions for that sake of the progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this. v.1

Traditions are about the past and technology about the future and it has been argued that we need to let go of traditions for that sake of the progress. with this. v. 1
The automation has brought a dramatic change in the world. This has become omnipresent and omnipotent, as a result, people have become addicted to the comforts of the life, which automation has provided them as a gift. This also has given its contribution to make the practice richer and stronger. However, some array of masses does not consider the traditions useful at present and they are in the favour of adoption of automation with the replacement of the practice. But, I do not support this notion and would present my thoughts in the following paragraphs and would provide my opinion. Firstly, the practice has a significant role to make the relationships stronger and healthier with the help of automation. For example, the India is an incredible country, where the populace resides belonging to the distinct religions, communities. Moreover, due to the this difference, citizens possess different tastes and interests, in terms of food, practice and lifestyle. Therefore, in India various types of festivals are celebrated such as Diwali, Dussehra, Rakhi, et Cetra. The populace often comes closer at the time, when these festivals are organized and celebrated. This activity makes the relationships stronger, as they communicate and perform some activities like dance, worship, et Cetra. Apart from this, the automation has made the celebrations easier along with the environment protection taking into consideration like the use of small and colourful electricity bulbs instead of candles, the utilization of vehicles to travel to the celebration destinations, et Cetra. Consequently, it is not a good idea to give up the practice for the sake of the automation. Secondly, the ethos is very essential for the progressive expansion of the democracy as well as work as a unique identity for the same. For example, the India is a prominent country, which is known for the Hinduism's cultural activities all around the world and this identity makes the democracy distinct from others. Apart from this, the cultures and ethos play a significant role in the continuous improvement of the society. To cite an example, a large assortment of the religions, communities, ethos, food and lifestyle becomes the centre of attraction for the tourists. This incites them to take a tour of the democracy, that results in the inflows of the foreign currency, which ultimately, causes the participation of the practice in the positive advancement of the economy. Therefore, the notion of elimination of the practice, for the sake of the automation, is not correct, as this is a unique identity of the country as well as participates in its economic improvement. At last, it is apparent from both of the paragraphs, that are strongly in the support of the practice. Therefore, it is clear that the elimination of the practice can give birth to various hazardous problems, for the democracy, as well as for the people, on the way.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
has brought a dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the world. This has become omnipresent and omnipotent,
as a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have become addicted to the comforts of the life, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
has provided them as a gift. This
also
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
its contribution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
richer and stronger.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
array of masses does not consider the traditions useful at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
present and
they are in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of adoption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
with the replacement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I do not support this notion and would present my thoughts in the following paragraphs and would provide my opinion.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
has a significant role to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the relationships stronger and healthier with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
.
For example
, the India is an incredible country, where the populace resides belonging to the distinct religions, communities.
Moreover
, due to
Maybe you need to remove the second determiner so that only "the" or "this" is left.
the this
difference, citizens possess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tastes and interests, in terms of food,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
and lifestyle.
Therefore
, in India various types of festivals
are celebrated
such as Diwali,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dussehra
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rakhi
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
et
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cetra
. The populace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
closer at the time, when these festivals
are organized
and celebrated. This activity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the relationships stronger, as they communicate and perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities like dance, worship,
Possible spelling mistake found.
et
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cetra
. Apart from this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
has made the celebrations easier along with the environment protection taking into consideration like the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
electricity bulbs
instead
of candles, the utilization of vehicles to travel to the celebration destinations,
Possible spelling mistake found.
et
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cetra
.
Consequently
, it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to give up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
for the sake of the automation.

Secondly
, the ethos is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for the progressive expansion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
democracy
as well
as work as a unique identity for the same.
For example
, the India is a prominent country, which
is known
for the Hinduism's cultural activities all around the world and this identity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
democracy
distinct from others. Apart from this, the cultures and ethos play a significant role in the continuous improvement of the society. To cite an example, a large assortment of the religions, communities, ethos, food and lifestyle becomes the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of attraction for the tourists. This incites them to take a tour of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
democracy
, that results in the inflows of the foreign currency, which
ultimately
, causes the participation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
advancement of the economy.
Therefore
, the notion of elimination of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
, for the sake of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automation
, is not correct, as this is a unique identity of the country
as well
as participates in its economic improvement.

At last, it is apparent from both of the paragraphs, that are
strongly
in the support of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the elimination of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
can give birth to various hazardous problems, for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
democracy
,
as well
as for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, on the way.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Traditions are about the past and technology about the future and it has been argued that we need to let go of traditions for that sake of the progress. with this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
475 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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