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Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. Reason and solution ?

Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. Reason and solution? OVLjM
Over the past decade, by the virtue of healthcare advancements, the progress of diagnosing and treating has improved the quality of public health, leading to a paradigm shift in how people look after their health. Despite the massive developments of general criterion on physical fitness in many first world countries, it is undeniable that the physique condition of these nations’ citizens is drastically degrading. This essay will analyze the reasons for the given statement as well as the suitable solutions before a reasoned conclusion is drawn. There are several reasons why citizens in developed nations are enduring such unhealthy physical shapes regardless of the improvements in healthcare. First, the imbalance division in health service between the rich and poor plays an important role in the degradation of people’s health. The media, for instance, has given many reports about wealthy and influential individuals being prioritized to receive personal treatment and therapy, thereby indirectly creating an unequal society and promoting an unhealthy lifestyle to the poor. Second, people in those countries are relying too much on the modernized healthcare system, hence leading to a sedentary lifestyle which could possibly cause several negative outcomes. In fact, a numerous number of people tend to have an imbalanced diet and devoid of workout since they excessively depend on healthcare technology and usually have an antiquated notion that medical practitioners have the ability to solve every health-related issue. The problems will lead to various effects, however, people can deal with the threat with some suitable solutions. Firstly, raise people's awareness that developed healthcare gadgets are not able to treat every illness, wounds they get, instead they should look after their health carefully, get rid of harmful habits. Generally, regardless of how developed the medical system is, everyone had better take care of themselves because there are more and more people needing medical support for serious health situations rather than them. Society needs more people to take the responsibility for their physical health. Furthermore, it will be an effective method in which people spend more time training their health by physical activities such as jogging, running, football, etc. Thus, authorities of the developed nations should invest in placing more accessible sport areas in order to do physical activities and exercises. Many reports have shown that anyone practicing exercises every day will have a better immune system and nerve(cô bảo mình focus vào physical mà m ơi, k nên đưa nerve vào nhé) system. In summary, as being discussed above, it can be concluded that the difficulties significantly affect the healthcare standard of developed parties. However, the issue can be handled with citizen attention to the solution discussed above. Healthcare is essential for not only developed countries but all the world as well and everybody has to pay more attention to their health whether rich or poor, living in any country around the world.
Over the past decade, by the virtue of healthcare advancements, the progress of diagnosing and treating has
improved
the quality of public
health
, leading to a paradigm shift in how
people
look after their
health
. Despite the massive developments of general criterion on
physical
fitness in
many
first
world
countries
, it is undeniable that the physique condition of these nations’ citizens is
drastically
degrading. This essay will analyze the reasons for the
given
statement
as well
as the suitable solutions
before
a reasoned conclusion
is drawn
.

There are several reasons why citizens in
developed
nations are enduring such unhealthy
physical
shapes regardless of the improvements in healthcare.
First
, the imbalance division in
health
service between the rich and poor plays an
important
role in the degradation of
people’s
health
. The media,
for instance
,
has
given
many
reports about wealthy and influential individuals
being prioritized
to receive personal treatment and therapy, thereby
indirectly
creating an unequal society and promoting an unhealthy lifestyle to the poor. Second,
people
in those
countries
are relying too much on the modernized healthcare system,
hence
leading to a sedentary lifestyle which could
possibly
cause several
negative
outcomes. In fact, a numerous number of
people
tend to have an imbalanced diet and devoid of workout since they
excessively
depend on healthcare technology and
usually
have an antiquated notion that medical practitioners have the ability to solve every health-related issue.

The problems will lead to various effects,
however
,
people
can deal with the threat with
some
suitable solutions.
Firstly
, raise
people
's awareness that
developed
healthcare gadgets are not able to treat every illness, wounds they
get
,
instead
they should look after their
health
carefully
,
get
rid of harmful habits.
Generally
, regardless of how
developed
the medical system is, everyone had better take care of themselves
because
there are more and more
people
needing medical support for serious
health
situations
rather
than them. Society needs more
people
to take the responsibility for their
physical
health
.
Furthermore
, it will be an effective method in which
people
spend more time training their
health
by
physical
activities such as jogging, running, football, etc.
Thus
, authorities of the
developed
nations should invest in placing more accessible sport areas in order to do
physical
activities and exercises.
Many
reports have shown that anyone
practicing
exercises every day will have a better immune system and nerve(
bảo
mình
focus
vào
physical
m
ơi
, k
nên
đưa
nerve
vào
nhé
) system.

In summary, as
being discussed
above, it can
be concluded
that the difficulties
significantly
affect the healthcare standard of
developed
parties.
However
, the issue can
be handled
with citizen attention to the solution discussed above. Healthcare is essential for not
only
developed
countries
but
all the world
as well
and everybody
has to
pay more attention to their
health
whether rich or poor, living in any
country
around the world.
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IELTS essay Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. Reason and solution?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
476 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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