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Despite a large number of gyms a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity nowadays.what are the problems behind this .what solutions are?

Despite a large number of gyms a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity nowadays. what are the problems behind this. what solutions are? j86Mw
It has been universally acknowledge the problem of sedentory lifestyle is escalating at an alaraming rate in the current time. this problem has been a dispressing meginitude although a plenty of reasons are there yet some possible situations are also available to curb this grave concern. Commencing with the cause which are responsible for the growth of it. theFirst reason is overweight. People prefer to their work sit at home and office. Therefore they suffer from many problems such as breathing problems and so on. An example in Sweden, most of people suffering from many heart diseases. Another factor is that people are getting lazy to habits like as drinking and smoking. Conclusively such people lose the possibility to enjoy the real life. In order to solve this serious, issue some measures can be taken. firstly the fewer people continued to smoke. therefore government should have ban all ads related to with fast food into promoting a healthy lifestyle. In addition to this person can participate in social activities. These things will a positive impact on their mind and body. As a consequence, that a sedentory lifestyle is very dangerous for their health. To recapsulate unquestionly this problem has become a burning question of the world. thus it is not an easy task to solve this. so government and people had better come forward to mitigate to this complex issue.
It has been
universally
Consider using a past participle here: "acknowledged".
acknowledge
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sedentory
lifestyle is escalating at an
Possible spelling mistake found.
alaraming
rate in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
has been a
Possible spelling mistake found.
dispressing
Possible spelling mistake found.
meginitude
although a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons are there
yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible situations are
also
available to curb this grave concern. Commencing with the cause which are responsible for the growth of it.
Possible spelling mistake found.
theFirst
reason is overweight.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
prefer to their work sit at home and office.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
they suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as breathing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. An example in Sweden, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
heart diseases. Another factor is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting lazy to habits like as drinking and smoking.
Conclusively
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose the possibility to enjoy the real life. In order to solve this serious, issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures can
be taken
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
the fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continued to smoke.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have
Use past participle here: "banned".
ban
all ads related to with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food into promoting a healthy lifestyle.
In addition
to this person can participate in social activities. These things will a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on their mind and body. As a consequence, that a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sedentory
lifestyle is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for their health. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
recapsulate
Possible spelling mistake found.
unquestionly
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
has become a burning question of the world.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
thus
it is not an easy task to solve this.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to mitigate to this complex issue.
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IELTS essay Despite a large number of gyms a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity nowadays. what are the problems behind this. what solutions are?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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