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The criminality rate decreases in recent times as compared to couple of decades, because of latest invention can control and overcome to illegal things.To what Extend do you agree?

The criminality rate decreases in recent times as compared to couple of decades, because of latest invention can control and overcome to illegal things. y7k1E
The criminality rate decreases in recent times as compared to couple of decades, because of latest invention can control and overcome to illegal things. I am strongly agree with it. Latest movement have very good impact on our daily life. Further paragraphs will be dedicated to the details of these views and a balanced approach will also be discussed. On the one side, if they look to few years back the ratio of crime was very high due to lack of facilities. They don’t have mobiles phones. They can not have good transportation. In shops they even don’t have cameras. They do not have good weapons. Even that time few check post were there. For instance someone car has stolen, police do not have such device which can check the chases number of each car on the checkpoint. On the other hand, latest change in technology totally overcome the corruption. Now their systems have such things can control crime in every area. All over the country, safety cameras are working if any wrong thing happens police can easily come to know about that. By the help of latest devices they easily identify the criminals. Now a days they have wireless and mobile phones they can easily share the information which helps them. The different areas police contacted to each with the help of mobiles. They have very good mobile police as well. In conclusion, they can say new inventions helped a lot almost in every field. But major its impact for the crimes. Now ratio of crime is very low as compared to pervious periods.
The criminality rate decreases in recent times as compared to
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
invention can control and overcome to illegal things. I am
strongly
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with it.
A determiner is probably missing here: "the Latest".
Latest
movement have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
impact on our daily life.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
paragraphs will
be dedicated
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of these views and a balanced approach will
also
be discussed
.

On the one side, if they look
Did you mean "too"?
to
few years back the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high due to lack of facilities. They don’t have mobiles phones. They can not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
transportation. In
The comma is probably missing here: "shops, they".
shops they
even don’t have cameras. They do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
weapons. Even that time few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
post were there.
For instance
someone car has stolen,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
do not have such device which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the chases number of each car on the checkpoint.

On the other hand
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in technology
totally
overcome the corruption.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
their systems have such things can control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in every area. All over the country, safety cameras are working if any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
thing happens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about that. By the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
devices they
easily
identify the criminals.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
they have wireless and mobile phones they can
easily
share the information which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
contacted to each with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of mobiles. They have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
as well
.

In conclusion
, they can say new inventions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
a lot almost in every field.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
major its impact for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low as compared to
Possible spelling mistake found.
pervious
periods.
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IELTS essay The criminality rate decreases in recent times as compared to couple of decades, because of latest invention can control and overcome to illegal things.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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