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Descriptive Writing- Love at first fight

Descriptive Writing- Love at first fight brYxB
My blood ran cold, as I heard the word ‘flight’, well may be because this would be my first ever flight of my life. We were travelling to for my aunt’s journey. Oh! Only if my school had delayed its new academic year a month further, I would be enjoying the peaceful yet fun ride on the train. Well, hearing about plane crashes and hijacks offer a very discourteous image in my mind. Abruptly the days went by and it was the day of bundle of nerves, I was simply dragging my suitcase down the living room with an agony in mind. I had mixed feelings about today; nervousness, excitement, happiness and fear were all rushing over me. I glanced at my parents, they were as calm as a cucumber. How they could stay calm is beyond my imagination? As I stepped out of my house, waving to my neighbours, I proceeded towards the cab. I placed my suitcase in the trunk and hopped in the car. The rest of the journey was dreading, the closer we got to the destination the more nervous I got. Finally we reached the airport, but sitting in the seats of the cab felt like a warm hug and I didn’t feel like getting out of the car at all. But I had to, couldn’t miss the flight, right? I entered through the sliding glass doors of the airport, the warm sun was shining through the glass windows and as I step in see a bunch of tourists rushing and pushing through people. Whilst I walk in, a tall dangerously looking man wearing a military uniform approaches us, he examines our tickets and our ID as if a teacher checking my exam paper. He nods his head in agreement and gestures us to move forward. Now we proceeded ahead towards the long ticket counter, but little did I know.
My blood ran
cold
, as I heard the word ‘flight’, well may be
because
this would be my
first
ever flight of my life. We were travelling to for my aunt’s journey. Oh!
Only
if my school had delayed its new academic year a month
further
, I would be enjoying the peaceful
yet
fun ride on the train.

Well, hearing about
plane
crashes and hijacks offer a
very
discourteous image in my mind.

Abruptly
the days went by and it was the day of bundle of nerves, I was
simply
dragging my suitcase down the living room with an agony in mind. I had mixed feelings about
today
; nervousness, excitement, happiness and fear were all rushing over me. I glanced at my parents, they were as calm as a cucumber. How they could stay calm is beyond my imagination?

As I stepped out of my
house
, waving to my
neighbours
, I proceeded towards the cab. I placed my suitcase in the trunk and hopped in the car. The rest of the journey was dreading, the closer we
got
to the destination the more nervous I
got
.
Finally
we reached the airport,
but
sitting in the seats of the cab felt like a warm hug and I didn’t feel like getting out of the car at all.
But
I had to, couldn’t miss the flight, right?

I entered through the sliding glass doors of the airport, the warm sun was shining through the glass windows and as I step in
see
a bunch of tourists rushing and pushing through
people
. Whilst I walk in, a tall
dangerously
looking
man
wearing a military uniform approaches us, he examines our tickets and our ID as if a teacher checking my exam paper. He nods his head in agreement and gestures us to
move
forward.
Now
we proceeded ahead towards the long ticket counter,
but
little
did I know.
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IELTS essay Descriptive Writing- Love at first fight

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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